Naming Rights

As has been reported, everywhere, some law school you’ve never heard of sold its naming rights to some guy you’ve never heard of for a sum of money that will be pissed away before you can blink.

I get why a major corporation would pay to name a stadium. It’s advertising. I just got back from Indiana and, what do you know, turns out Lucas Oil is a thing. I even get it when a law school names a stadium. I mean, it’s stupid, but I get it. Go Lugnuts.

But why would a private citizen pay $50 million to affix his name to an eight-year-old law school he didn’t even attend? There are people grinding out Crucible emblems in Destiny that aren’t as pointlessly vain…

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As we all know, law schools are eager to sell you naming rights if you give them money. Bad schools are willing to sell out, good schools are willing to sell out. Harvard Law School sold the naming rights to their freaking bathrooms.

Usually, these sales are made by deans at country clubs or wherever, with handshakes and checkbooks.

But one law school has put out a chart so that interested alumni can buy naming rights to things like they’re shopping at Wal-Mart.

Why not? It’s better than raising tuition. How much do you think it should cost to name a law school dining room?

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Couldn't find a pic with the stately Dickson Poon banner.

Back in March, we received a tip that King’s College in London had received a huge gift to their law school and decided to rename the institution in the benefactor’s honor: Dickson Poon School of Law.

We didn’t write a full story at the time, because frankly I thought I was being trolled. I mean, Dick Poon Law? Dicks On Poon? Really? Come on. That’s like all of Britain trying to take the piss out of me.

But it is true. King’s College changed the name of their law school after a £20m donation from Dickson Poon, who is a philanthropist and the owner of Harvey Nichols (aka “Harvey Nicks”).

Now, while making a bunch of Poon jokes has a tang of immaturity, it appears even King’s College is sensitive to plastering Poon all across the diplomas of its new graduates.

The school sent out a very interesting letter trying to calm new students, reassuring them that the school’s new name wouldn’t besmirch their résumés for the rest of their lives….

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