* Sorry ladies, but Seth Meyers is now engaged. To a lawyer of all people. Alexi Ashe of AC Investment Management graduated from Southwestern University School of Law and previously worked at the King’s County District Attorney’s Office, Human Rights First, and the Somaly Mam Foundation. [Gawker]
* A D.C. law firm is giving away its law library. An unscrupulous law school could bolster its U.S. News ranking because they count the number of volumes in law libraries even though no one has used a bound legal reporter in a decade. [Constitutional Daily]
* “But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? And does it rise to the level of nuisance?” Just one gem over on this Tumblr. [Shakespeare Takes the Bar Exam]
* The Ohio Supreme Court may hear a speeding ticket case because there are no more pressing issues in Ohio. [USA Today]
* Pharrell is suing will.i.am because the latter seems to think he owns a trademark in every sentence with “I am” in it. And Pharrell quotes from noted legal authority Dr. Seuss. [Jezebel]
* Does Dwight Howard’s decision to sign with the Rockets highlight how state taxes pose a hidden threat to league parity? [TaxProf Blog]
* Still hankering for Supreme Court discussion? Here’s a thorough roundtable examination of the previous term. [Construction Magazine]
* Have a good legal-themed short fiction idea? Enter the ABA Journal’s Ross Writing Contest and you could win $3,000. [ABA Journal]
At least he’s tackling the important issues facing Ohioans.
It has long been the case in Hong Kong that most UK law firms and a very small minority of US law firms have three month notice periods for their US associates built into their employment contracts. But until about 18 months ago it was not common for any firm to enforce a three month notice period when a US associate left solo[…]
Antitrust, Attorney Misconduct, Biglaw, California, Celebrities, Deaths, Department of Justice, Divorce Train Wrecks, Drinking, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Mergers and Acquisitions, Morning Docket, New Jersey, Pro Bono
* With the capture of Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, many legal questions are being asked, like if he’ll be Mirandized, where he’ll be tried, and if he’ll be considered an enemy combatant. [New York Times]
* Thanks for kicking this keg, Mr. Baer: the Department of Justice and Anheuser-Busch InBev have settled their antitrust differences with respect to beer brewery’s planned acquisition of Grupo Modelo. [Legal Times]
* Which firm has a “generous tuition reimbursement” program? And by “generous,” we mean 100% of law school tuition, which is awesome. We may have more on this later today. [Capital Business / Washington Post]
* Stan Chesley, the “master of disaster,” is retiring — not because he wants to, but because he’s disbarred in Kentucky and surrendered his Ohio license before the state could take it from him. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* California may soon follow in New York’s footsteps when it comes a pro bono mandate before bar admission, but the New Jersey Bar Association has an active hit out on the idea. [National Law Journal]
* In an effort to avoid a trial that would’ve lasted longer than their sham marriage did in the first place, fauxlebrity Kim Kardashian and NBA player Kris Humphries settled their divorce last week. [Reuters]
* Morris Kramer, an M&A pioneer and part of Skadden’s “Fab Four,” RIP. [DealBook / New York Times]
What got this prominent plaintiff-side lawyer into trouble? Hint: it’s all about the benjamins….
You run a major produce company and you look at your books and realize, “Oops, I’ve accidentally funneled millions of dollars to terrorist groups.” What can you do when you get sued? Don’t turn to your insurance carrier….
If you’re a Supreme Court clerk, Jones Day is a great place to be. But some folks in less exalted positions are being shown the door at the firm….
* Maker’s Mark will not get diluted after all — likely causing a shortage. Start hoarding mediocre bourbon, folks! [Wonkblog]
* If you’ve ever wondered what the Supreme Court feels like to a pro se petitioner, here’s your answer. “Simply put, the Supreme Court uses its desktop publishing and printing guidelines as a weapon against the American public.” So much for “the least dangerous branch.” [Aaron Greenspan]
* “Nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Russia’s taking that phrase to a whole new level by pushing forward with a criminal tax evasion trial against a dead man. This is the first case of its kind since United States v. Bernie Lomax. [Reuters]
* Is the pressure mounting on the Washington Redskins to change their name? It’s an interesting take, but overlooks one important detail: Dan Snyder is a tone deaf jerk. [Sports Law Blog]
* Computer science students realize that taking collective action to intentionally fail the test was better than trying to pass it. It’s like The Producers of education. And if this grading policy applied to 1Ls, there’d be at least one jerk who defected to ruin everyone else’s curve. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* Ten points to Gryffindor if you know what “tumid” means. Because you’re going to have to know before you pass through Ohio again. [Legal Juice]
My father is a military man. Accordingly, all things in life, from mundane trips to the grocery store to complex life decisions like planning for and choosing a college, was subject to careful, deliberate planning. Digesting evidence and facts was a far better road than the proverbial “crossing of fingers” and trusting that “it will all work out for the best.” Former NYC mayor Rudolph Guiliani said it best when he announced that “Hope is not a strategy.”
I was reminded of this adage when reading a few industry reports compiling data points about corporate legal departments and the ever –increasing complexity of the regulatory environment. Here are some shockers:
* Lanny Breuer finally announced his retirement from the DOJ. He’s going back to the private sector, and perhaps Covington and Jenner & Block will duel to see which firm gets dibs. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* You may be wondering if it’s ever constitutional to testify in a drug cartel case while wearing a disguise — namely, a mustache, a wig, and sunglasses. Behold, the Ninth Circuit’s opinion! [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* It may be a new year, but suing Biglaw firms never seems to get old. From Blank Rome to White & Case, here’s a thrilling roundup of all suits that have made waves in 2013, a “lawsuit-palooza,” if you will. [Am Law Daily]
* “We are going through a revolution in law with a time bomb on our admissions books.” The entire law school dream is continuing to swirl down the drain at warp speed, and the New York Times is on it! [New York Times]
* Is anyone actually surprised that every single one of Jerry Sandusky’s post-conviction motions was flat-out denied? If so, then it seems you may be in very serious need of a 1-800-REALITY check. [Legal Intelligencer]
* George Zimmerman’s attorney asked a judge to delay his client’s trial because he claims the prosecution is causing problems. Also, he’d kind of like to get paid, but that’s neither here nor there. [Orlando Sentinel]
* If you weren’t aware, there was a law firm office shooting in Arizona yesterday, and one of the wounded is Mark Hummels, a partner with Osborn Maledon. Best wishes for a very speedy recovery! [Arizona Republic]
* When they tell you stop writing when time is called during the bar exam, you STOP FREAKING WRITING when time is called on the bar exam — unless you don’t like bar admission, of course. [National Law Journal]
Should judges be allowed to impose fines that benefit those outside the jurisdiction? Even if the fine is going to charity?
Please stop tackling and handcuffing the Fourth Amendment….
Don’t get your prosecutorial panties in a bunch; we know this is just a rumor.
* Concurring Opinions has the unsent emails from the Scalia-Posner flap. It’s the funniest thing since they explained how professors grade. [Concurring Opinions]
* Since a lot of smart kids are not taking the LSAT and applying to law school, maybe this is an opportunity for kids who are not so great at standardized testing to get into a better school than they would have under normal circumstances. Of course, that’s not what I would do. If a bunch of people suddenly start running in one direction, I’m the kind of brother who starts running with them and figures out later what all the fuss is about. [The Careerist]
* Ohio rescinds it’s early voting directive and asks Sixth Circuit for a stay. [Election Law Blog]
* Charlotte bankers survive the Democratic National Convention. Somehow. [Dealbreaker]
* The problem with owning a gun is that eventually, you are going to give yourself a reason to use it. [NY Daily News]
* Former tennis star ready to return serve at Columbia law school. Obviously, I’m using “star” a little bit broadly since I’m talking about a man who finds himself in the drunken class of 2015. [Dealbook]
* You have to think that Bill Clinton would have made the best trial lawyer ever. “Can you see her? I want you to picture that little girl. [bites lip.] Now imagine she’s white.” [What About Clients?]
The TSA strikes again. Leave our coffee alone!