Parties

Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this picture:

You voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our contest…

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On Monday, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this picture:

Let’s have a look at what our readers came up with, and vote on the finalists…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest Finalists: Biglaw Bonus Blues? Drink Up!”

Bonus season is upon us, but some people aren’t satisfied with the extra wad of cash they’ve received. In the eyes of disgruntled associates, these are the same bonuses that were handed out last year — only this time around, they’re stale and being served cold.

The angry associates will trudge along to their Biglaw holiday parties, muttering under their breath about the five-figure sum the partners have low-balled them with this year. The name Cravath will be grunted with disdain and paired with an eye roll, and whispers of “Why didn’t I choose Boies Schiller during OCI?” will be followed by mournful sighs.

Cheer up, everyone. There’s a very obvious solution waiting for you just inside the doors of the party you didn’t want to attend….

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Your ATL editors: David Lat, Staci Zaretsky, Joe Patrice, and Elie Mystal.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: a time for law firm bonuses, new partner announcements, holiday cards (including our annual contest), holiday gifts, and holiday parties.

Thanks a lot to everyone who came out last Thursday night to attend the Above the Law holiday party. This year’s festivities were extremely well-attended (the bar was packed), and the entire crowd enjoyed all of the specialty drinks that were served. Thanks to our sponsors, Superior Discovery and Prestige Legal Search, for making such a great evening possible.

If you weren’t able to make it out, don’t worry — we’ve got you covered. Here are some of the pictures from a night that was full of fun and fabulosity…

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Making the guest list and checking it twice.

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, the holiday season is underway. And you know what that means: law firm holiday parties, and all the mischief they entail.

(And also the Above the Law holiday party, sponsored by Superior Discovery and Prestige Legal Search, where any mischief that might occur is off the record. For details and to request an invite, just click here.)

Every holiday party is preceded by an invitation. And this year two prominent law firms are pushing the envelope in this department.

Let’s have a look, shall we?

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The holiday season is upon us, and we hope that we’ll be the first ones on your list when you schedule your party destination plans. Just in case the giant ad bar at the top of the site wasn’t a good enough reminder about the Above the Law holiday party, I’m here to give you all of the details again.

This year, our sponsors are almost as prestigious and superior as our readers: Prestige Legal Search and Superior Discovery. Here are all of the details that you need to know:

Thursday, December 5, 2013
7:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. at Dewey’s Flatiron in New York, New York
OPEN BAR FOR ALL THREE HOURS

You’ll get to meet all of the Above the Law editors, some of our finest columnists, and sample each of our specialty drinks. Alcohol is a great social lubricant, and we know that all of our guests will be especially well-lubed (which is almost definitely what she said).

Dewey think you’re going to have a blast at our holiday party? Totally! You know you want to come. RSVP below to join in all the fun:

Even Eric Cartman didn’t need blackface to become a Somali pirate.

If you are a professional actor performing a role and you need to alter the color of your skin as part of that role, you can do it. Robert Downey Jr. and Roger Sterling spring to mind. Dave Chappelle and Eddie Murphy have done it (though going from black to white isn’t even the same thing as going from white to dark).

If you are anybody else, you can’t. You can’t do it for Halloween; you can’t do it “ironically.” You just can’t wear blackface. If you do, you are a racist. Wearing blackface in public for fun is dispositive on the issue of your racism. And it’s dispositive on the issue of your own intelligence and creativity: if you can’t pull off the costume without darkening your skin, you’ve probably missed the point of your costume. It’s not like I’d need to wear whiteface to go as [trying to think of the whitest white person] Boss Hogg.

These are simple rules that have been with us for years, but people still keep screwing up. And when they do, it touches off a “conversation” about race — as if we need to talk about why some racist people wore blackface and thought it was okay.

Why did these law students dress up in blackface to go on a pub crawl? Because they’re racist, the end….

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Justice Clarence Thomas in conversation with Judge Diane Sykes.

Over the past few years, some amazing speakers have appeared at the Thursday evening dinner of the Federalist Society’s National Lawyers Convention. Last year, Justice Samuel A. Alito offered a very funny look back at his time at Yale Law School. In 2010, Justice Antonin Scalia engaged in a spirited and wide-ranging conversation with legal journalist Jan Crawford.

Last night’s event will be tough to top. Justice Clarence Thomas, speaking with Judge Diane Sykes of the Seventh Circuit, delivered remarks that were “equal parts hysterical, poignant and inspiring,” as Texas Supreme Court Justice Don Willett noted on Twitter.

I was lucky enough to attend, seated just one table away from the stage. Here’s my account of the evening (plus a few photos)….

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It’s been an amazing year here at Above the Law. We have more readers than ever before. We have more straight white males writing for us than ever before. We’ve received more direct death threats from law deans and law professors than ever before (maybe that’s just me). And it’s all thanks to you, our loyal readers who are looking at this post on Facebook and thinking “I don’t want to “like” this and let my friends know I actually read this website.”

Let’s have a party. We’ve got money, non-denominational yuletide cheer, and an open bar. We got sponsors: Prestige Legal Search and Superior Discovery, which means we’re literally having a PRESTIGE holiday party that will be SUPERIOR to all others.

Here are the pertinent details:

Thursday, Dec 5th
7:00 p.m. -10:00 p.m. at Dewey’s Flatiron in New York, NY
OPEN BAR for ALL THREE HOURS

Do I really have to sell this more? We’ve got the entire mezzanine section of Dewey’s Flatiron. We’ll be doing specialty drinks again for each editor. And everybody’s invited… except you. You know who you are. Don’t you dare come.

Do you remember how people used to regard blackouts as an excuse to have a party? You’d eat all the ice cream in your freezer and invite friends over to play Monopoly by candlelight and maybe have sex because what the hell else can you do for entertainment? This doesn’t happen as much as it used to because now “blackouts” are usually accompanied by “Global Warming fueled mega-disasters.” It’s hard to party when the power failure is caused by an angry God as opposed to an incompetent public power company employee.

The government shutdown isn’t exactly like a blackout, but it’s certainly been caused by totally incompetent public employees. That’s as good an excuse for any to have a party in D.C.

In New York, Kaplan Bar Review sponsored a law-school bar crawl. In D.C., we’re going to do something a little bit different, probably because the thought of our readers crawling around black D.C. scares everybody but me. We know how much law students like taking tests, so on October 16th, ATL and Kaplan will be hosting a trivia night…

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