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Morning Docket: 08.14.12

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* Looks like someone skipped professional responsibility class during bar prep: the Ninth Circuit denied attorney fees to McGuireWoods in light of an “egregious” ethics violation made in the BAR/BRI antitrust settlement. [National Law Journal]

* Apple rested its patent-infringement case against Samsung yesterday, making way for the rival tech company to begin presenting its case. Jurors must be thrilled that the end is in sight, with just 25 more hours of arguments to go. [Bloomberg]

* Remember the mom-and-dad law grads accused of planting a potpourri of drugs on an elementary school volunteer? Their alleged victim is suing. We’ll have more on this hot mess later. [Orange County Register]

* “The facts don’t seem to support a ‘stand your ground’ defense.” That’s what George Zimmerman’s attorney said yesterday, but the defense team is going to try to get the case dismissed on those grounds anyway. [AP]

* When applying to law school, it’s usually helpful to demonstrate in your application that you actually want to go to law school. Gah, people seriously need to be told these things. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* “[T]he plaintiff’s tampon was never forcibly removed by any deputy.” First of all, yuck. Second of all, you know that a crazy lawsuit must have been filed when the cops are making public statements like this. [NBC News]

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Non-Sequiturs: 08.13.12

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* Man brings knife to a gun fight with NYPD. I think we all know how that ended. [Huffington Post]

* The House has brought a civil compliant against Eric Holder. In other news, it’s an election year! [Blog of the Legal Times]

* Ah, the never-ending quest for the perfect suit for the female attorney. All of the jokes I have right now are sexist. So I won’t make one. But I’m thinking it. [Corporette]

* Golf, even mini-golf, remains an excellent way to network. [Asbury Park Press]

* It looks like the Oak Creek shootings are going to go down as a hate crime. I care less about why the shooter did it and more that he’s punished. [CNN]

* Stop-and-Frisk doesn’t so much work. [DNAinfo]

* Don’t forget to submit your awesome office for our Lawyerly Lairs contest. [Above the Law]

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Morning Docket: 08.08.12

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* The Sixth Circuit delved into the question of law professors’ tenure in a recent decision, noting that it doesn’t guarantee a job for life. But seriously, why on earth would you want to have a lifetime career at Cooley Law anyway? [National Law Journal]

* Was the Wisconsin Sikh temple shooting a hate crime? Well, the shooter was in a racist skinhead band and purchased supplies from a neo-Nazi group, if that gives you a clue. [Reuters]

* Bet nobody saw this kind of douchebaggery happening: Jackson Lewis has been tapped to represent a member of Penn State’s board of trustees to appeal the NCAA’s unappealable sanctions, and he’s recruiting fellow trustees to join him. [Am Law Daily]

* No more “no comment” for this former reporter: Bruce Brown, a partner at Baker Hostetler, was appointed as the new executive director of the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press. [Blog of Legal Times]

* As expected, Jared Lee Loughner pleaded guilty in the Arizona shooting that killed six people and wounded 13 others. He’ll likely receive several life sentences as opposed to the death penalty. [Wall Street Journal]

* “This sh*t ain’t no joke yo, I’m serious, people are gonna die like Aurora.” Twitter, please cooperate so the police don’t have to subpoena you when a user threatens to commit a massacre in NYC. [NBC New York]

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Quote of the Day: Or Maybe I Just Prefer Not to Be Spied On

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They're heeere.

If you’re concerned about it, maybe there’s a reason we should be flying over you, right?

– Douglas McDonald, director of special operations at Unmanned Applications Institute International, defending the domestic use of unmanned drones, which recently led to a 16-hour standoff between a farmer, his family, and police in North Dakota.

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.24.12

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* Will consultation with victims’ families determine whether James Holmes deserves the death penalty? You could probably consult with a wall to make that determination and get the same result. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Just like that, with incredible ninja-like speed, someone has already filed a negligence suit against the Aurora Century 16 Theater where the shootings took place. [Gawker]

* And no, sorry to disappoint you, but notwithstanding his self-admitted teeny peeny, we don’t think that James Holmes decided to go on a shooting spree because he got rejected by a few women on Adult Friend Finder. [Jezebel]

* While we’re talking about gun violence, Mike Bloomberg has got a great idea: all police officers should go on strike until legislators push through stricter gun laws. How is a nanny state supposed to work properly when all the governesses are off duty? [Gothamist]

* Knowledge is power in the hands of a client, especially when the knowledge you’ve given them is just another tool to piss off opposing counsel during a deposition. [Popehat]

* Personal responsibility fail: allowing your 13-year-old to drive you home because you’re wasted. Fathering fail: believing that was a good idea in the first place. [Legal Juice]

* A fake TV show starring a wheelchair-bound paraplegic paralegal? You know you’d watch this. [The Onion]

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.23.12

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* The easiest way to stop James Holmes from becoming a celebrity and inspiring copycats is to stop trying to monetize the Aurora killings to turn a profit with ad revenue, but Professor David Kopel says it in more elegant terms. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Of course there’s a law school death watch list. Now, it would be nice to think that these law schools would shut down, but there are still people willing to fill the seats. You should’ve known better than to assume a silly thing like employment statistics would stop people from applying. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Divorce for men: it’s “not for women.” These family law practitioners may want to get together with Dr. Pepper for some kind of a licensing deal. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A pube sandwich is a very creative culinary treat — unfortunately, the recipe isn’t taught in sandwich artist school. FYI, the price to serve it to a police officer is $13,750. [Gothamist]

* The next time your husband complains about your sex life or lack thereof, just tell him that it’s against the law for married women to fornicate. Or that you’ve had a headache for the past few years. [Legal Juice]

3 Comments

Non-Sequiturs: 07.16.12

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* I thought Def Leppard got a cut every time a stripper takes off her clothes. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Catherine Rampell tackles the sputtering lawyer salaries numbers. Yes, to the New York Times, you listen. [Economix / New York Times]

* Oh nepotism, the thing that proves that it’s better to be lucky than good. [Wise Law NY]

* It’s kind of funny if your entire document production can be flummoxed by a squirrel. [Wired]

* The New York City Bar association is putting together a task force of people to look at the terrible legal job market. You know who isn’t trying to come up with the a response to the terrible market? It rhymes with American Bulls**ttar Association. [WSJ Law Blog]

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.13.12

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Blech.

* A manager at a Long Island-based national women’s organization has been sued by her female coworkers for allegedly being too grabby and being “obsessed with butts.” Not sure what to think about the lawsuit, but you can’t really complain about the photo of the manager motorboating her (also female) friend included with the story. [New York Post]

* The organizers of the London Olympics are concerned about getting hacked. So like any smart business, they employed a legion of hackers (pardon me, “ethical hackers”) to protect their systems. [IT-Lex]

* In other Olympic news, Congress is PO’d that the American Olympic team uniforms were made in China. As Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit points out, though, the real problem is that they are ugly as hell. [Christian Science Monitor via Instapundit]

* George Zimmerman wants another new judge because he claims this one is “prejudiced against him.” Sorry, but judges aren’t like Magic cards, you can’t continue to trade up. [Big Story / Associated Press]

* You gotta fight / for your right / to flip the bird at the 5-0. (That said, assuming you have said right, it doesn’t make it a good idea.) [New York Magazine]

* Are lawyers also doctors? In the words of Dr. Evil, “How ’bout no, Scott.” [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Handbags at dawn: can’t get enough of the Gucci v. Guess case? Take a look at some comprehensive analysis on this fashion law showdown. [Law of Fashion]

* A state judge in Pennsylvania ruled that discovery of private content on Facebook is only “minimally intrusive.” In other words, if you still hadn’t heard, the “private” stuff you put on Facebook is really anything but. [CPR Law Blog]

It’s Friday, and I’m going camping for the weekend. After the jump, check out a video of where I’m going….

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Interview With Brooklyn Law Student Fighting For His Right To Drink On His Own Stoop

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Earlier this week, the City Room blog of the New York Times ran a story about a man who was being hassled here in the Mike Bloomberg police state of New York City for drinking a beer on his stoop.

First of all, open container laws are always some of the most intrusive and stupid laws on the books in any county they exist. They’re a waste of time, and a colossal waste of police resources. I’ll let Major Bunny Colvin explain in three of the best minutes of scripted television:

Well, Brooklyn Law student Andrew Rausa figured he didn’t need a paper bag to enjoy a beer while sitting on his stoop on July 4th. When the officers rolled up to hassle him — on the very birthday of freedom in this country — Rausa figured he had the law on his side.

Rausa answered a few questions from Above the Law about his fight to quash tyranny and a $25 fine….

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Quote of the Day: I Got 99 Problems and the Fourth Amendment is One

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If this Essay serves no other purpose, I hope it serves to debunk, for any readers who persist in believing it, the myth that locking your trunk will keep the cops from searching it. Based on the number of my students who arrived at law school believing that if you lock your trunk and glove compartment, the police will need a warrant to search them, I surmise that it’s even more widespread among the lay public. But it’s completely, 100% wrong.

– Professor Caleb Mason of Southwestern Law School, in a Saint Louis University Law Journal article that analyzes the legal issues in Jay-Z’s smash hip-hop hit, 99 Problems.

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