Politics

* Fans of this man’s dopey mugshot grin will be sad if they’re deprived of another jailhouse picture, but lawyers for Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton want their client’s securities fraud indictment to be tossed over what they claim was a faulty grand jury investigation. [Reuters]

* Friday is apparently “Love Your Lawyer Day,” and the ABA recently passed a resolution to commemorate this special day every year. Biglaw firms can show their love for lawyers by announcing bigger, better bonuses! [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Alabama thinks the legal fees and costs that are being requested by attorneys in the state’s landmark same-sex marriage decision are “entirely excessive” and should be “cut dramatically.” It’s not like these lawyers had to “reinvent the wheel” or anything. [AL.com]

* “I may be known in tiny corners of the tubes of the Internet, but I am not well-known to the American public generally.” One-issue Democratic candidate Professor Lawrence Lessig of Harvard Law School is dropping out of the presidential race. [Boston Globe]

* It’s high time you joined the green rush, lawyers: although Ohioans voted against legalizing marijuana yesterday, more and more states are adding ballot measures for the legalization of marijuana or medical marijuana to be voted on in 2016. [Washington Post]

* “I’m glad Houston led tonight to end this constant political-correctness attack.” In other election news, voters in Texas repealed an LGBT anti-discrimination ordinance that would’ve prevented bias related to several important areas in life. [New York Times]

These attorneys tell us what they really think about the government's case.

Can we look forward to law school tuition finally being regulated via federal loan caps?

* “Say you’ll remember me, getting groped in a nice dress…” Uh oh! This pop star seems pretty pissed! Taylor Swift has filed a countersuit against a radio DJ who sued her because he claims he was fired for inappropriately touching the singer backstage at a concert. [Rolling Stone]

* Charleston School of Law has a new president, and hopefully his tenure will be less wrought with disaster than that of his predecessors. He says he’ll be paid one whole dollar per year as his salary until he can turn things around. [Charleston Post and Courier]

* At a speaking engagement at Santa Clara Law earlier this week, Justice Antonin Scalia proclaimed that the Supreme Court has been “liberal” throughout the entirety of his 30-year tenure. We’d like to beg His Honor’s pardon; that can’t be true. [WSJ Law Blog]

* As this article so eloquently puts it, “[t]he Supreme Court is about to climb back into Americans’ bedrooms.” Today, the high court will review several petitions from non-profit groups that want to be exempted from ACA’s contraception mandate. [USA Today]

* Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the number of firms that are trying to enter the market. To establish a presence in the Lone Star State, Kilpatrick Townsend & Stockton is saying howdy to some new partners and merging with Crouch & Ramey. [ABA Journal]

* It’s almost Halloween, so members of the legal profession had to have expected some spooky legal proceedings to occur this week. It seems that Lori Sforza, a witch priestess from Salem, has been granted a protective order against a well-known warlock. [Associated Press]

* Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders would like to remove marijuana from the list of dangerous controlled substances that are regulated by the Drug Enforcement Administration, which would free up states to legalize it on their own terms. Stoners are really feeling the “Bern” now, in more ways than one. [Washington Post]

* Four federal lawyers spent weeks nailing down the legalities behind the killing of Osama bin Laden, and they weren’t allowed to ask Attorney General Eric Holder for help for fear of leaks to the press. They even had to do the legal research themselves! [New York Times]

* According to a new report by the National Association of Women Lawyers, there’s been no “appreciable progress” made for women in the nation’s largest law firms since at least 2006. This is extremely disheartening. Please do better, Biglaw. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* You know Walgreens is buying Rite Aid for $9.4B, but you might not have known which law firms were prescribing advice in the mega pharmacy merger. Skadden, Jones Day, Simpson Thacher, and Weil Gotshal got billable scripts. [DealBook / New York Times]

He missed a ton of classes in his last year of law school, but it all turned out okay for him in the end.

Hillary hires some expensive attorneys.

* Brush that dirt off your shoulder: Jay-Z may have 99 problems, but this copyright lawsuit about his song “Big Pimpin'” is no longer one of them. The suit filed against the rap mogul in 2007 was dismissed on standing grounds, but the plaintiff says he plans to appeal. [Los Angeles Times]

* When it comes to the death penalty, Justice Antonin Scalia says that it “wouldn’t surprise [him]” if the Supreme Court were to strike it down as unconstitutional. It seems that a capital punishment case could become the next SCOTUS blockbuster. [CBS Minnesota]

* No one is a fan of the Securities and Exchange Commission’s in-house court system, and legislation to give financial defendants the right to opt out will be introduced in Congress later this week. Would you rather face trial before a federal judge or jury? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Earlier this week, a state-court judge brought a live grenade to the courthouse, but only because he wanted to have it properly disposed of by police. The jurist currently remains unidentified, which is a good thing, because this is pretty embarrassing. [CBS Los Angeles]

* Jurors in New York are paid $40 per day for their service, so you may be wondering how the confused members of the jury in the Dewey & LeBoeuf (mis)trial were able to survive on only $2,920 after five months spent in the courtroom. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* John Stamos of Full House fame was formally charged with driving under the influence earlier this week following his arrest for erratic driving this summer. He faces up to six months in jail if convicted. We have faith that his beautiful hair will survive time in the slammer. [USA Today]

* While the vast majority of the law school lawsuits containing allegations related to deceptive employment statistics have been dismissed, a few are still alive and kicking. The very first one filed — Alaburda v. Thomas Jefferson School of Law — is heading to trial in 2016. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Trick or treat? Per federal prosecutors, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert will plead guilty before Halloween as part of a deal in his ongoing sexual misconduct hush-money case, but whether he’ll serve time is a question that’s yet to be answered. [Reuters]

* Headcount at real estate firms with once-prominent foreclosure practices continues to shrink thanks to the recession’s end. To that effect, two Chicago firms have eliminated hundreds of positions for legal professionals since 2013. [Chicago Business Journal]

* Thanks to a new online system, Northwestern Law will be able to interview prospective students any time, anywhere. The school is the first in the country to offer awkward casting couch sessions as part of its admissions process. [Northwestern University News]

* Daaaammmmn. Some serious shade as Greenberg Traurig CEO Richard Rosenbaum takes a swipe at Dentons. Video below the jump.

* Lamar Odom is still technically married to Khloe Kardashian, thereby giving his estranged wife authority when it comes to medical decisions. Good, because I think we were all hoping a man’s tragic health crisis could be fodder for May Sweeps. [Eonline]

* Linklaters is “internally crowdsourcing” to find a solution to provide a better work-life balance. Jesus. Bring on the necessary resources to cap any individual’s work week at 60 billable hours and move on. Anything less is just an invitation to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic. [Law360]

* Looks like NPR’s hit podcast Serial is ready for a second season. [The Onion]

* Dewey think these deliberations will ever end? [The Am Law Daily]

* Ah, the life of in-house counsel: writing bitchy emails to customers telling them how stupid they are. [L.A. Times]

* Rand Paul explains how “liberty” works for gay people. [Gawker]

* Before joining a class action, make sure aren’t advertising your own criminal behavior to authorities. [Times-Picayune]

* And here’s that Greenberg Traurig-Dentons swipe. This strikes me as an ill-considered decision given that Dentons is known as a firm that doesn’t start fights, but sure as f**k ends them. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

Canadian columnist Steven Dykstra reviews the résumé of the Supreme Court of Canada's newest member, and he is... not impressed.

The twist in this story is startling and unexplained.

* Biglaw leaders aren’t feeling so hot about the future of the profession. What else is new? [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* Villanova Law School whining about its fall in the U.S. News rankings after admitting it had artificially inflated its numbers. Listen, it’s this stupid fascination with U.S. News that got Villanova busted in the first place. It’s high time the school stops preening for U.S. News and starts touting its admirable position in the rankings based on what’s best for students. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* It’s time for the Supreme Court to hear the important cases! Enough of these poor people railroaded by the system, where’s justice for disgraced former Governor Bob McDonnell? [Washington Post]

* Everything should be legal! At least when it comes to BS NCAA violations. [Adequate Man / Deadspin]

* Women make less than men when it comes to in-house work. Sort of like all other work. [Law360]

* Hillary was hailed as the big winner last night, but her biggest victory was knowing that Bernie Sanders was going to pull his punches. [Redline]

* Sara Randazzo with the Twitter observation of the day yesterday: lawyer for ex-Dewey chair Steve Davis trolled the jury with his tie pattern. [Twitter]

The Democrats are taking the main stage during tonight's debate, but do you know the history of the party?

Nothing is boring if you apply enough alcohol -- tonight's Democratic Debate Drinking Guide.

Ed. note: In honor of Columbus Day (and Canadian Thanksgiving), Above the Law will be on a reduced publication schedule today. We will be back in full force tomorrow. Stay tuned for today’s news!

* Who is Amy Berman Jackson? If you’ve been watching Jeopardy! lately, you’ve probably been trying to figure out which law firm reigning champion Matt Jackson works for as a paralegal. In the meantime, it’s worth noting that his mother is a D.D.C. federal judge. [Washington Post]

* Another SCOTUS term is upon us, and while Chief Justice Roberts tends to cast his votes on the issues through a conservative lens, there’s talk that he could be a “wildcard.” Hmm, perhaps Justice Kennedy will have a pal to swing with this year. [MSNBC]

* Choose your path wisely: Bloomberg Markets released its ranking of the 50 most influential people last week, and not a single practicing lawyer made the cut. Attorneys who chose career alternatives, however, made a killing. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* Marcel Aubut, who recently resigned in disgrace from his position as Canadian Olympic Committee president after allegations of sexual harassment and inappropriate touching came to light, has also decided to leave his Biglaw firm and seek counseling. [NBC Sports]

* Late last week, California adopted an exacting digital privacy law that will require police to get warrants to access all manner of electronic information, from emails to texts to metadata. Please thank the Golden State for keeping your sexts safe. [WSJ Law Blog]

The prosecutor's verboten public comments illustrate why comprehensive protective orders like this one are, and should continue to be, disfavored.

* Even Bill Cosby cannot escape the power and force of the American judicial system. [Gawker]

* A #tbt look at a bygone era when people took honest-to-goodness lunch breaks. [Slate]

* Let the fanfic commence! Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg tells of the time Justice Scalia serenaded her. [Huffington Post]

* More people pile on Mary Jo White. [Above the Law]

* A primer on the legal issues that will dominate the next year. [Pacific Standard]

* The British legal system is going to war over offensive tweets. [Overlawyered]

* The closing you use at the end of your email can say a lot about you. [Daily Lawyer Tips]

Everything you never wanted to know about Senator Reid's sex life!

To see what lies ahead for the high court’s conservatives in October Term 2015, columnist Tamara Tabo looks back at some of the famous last words of last Term.