Quote of the Day

Michele Roberts

Let’s be clear: I’m sure there were people that noticed I was a girl. Having said that, I frankly wanted to address that question up front whenever I spoke with any of the members of the executive committee and the union. My sense was, the only thing people cared about was my resolve.

Michele Roberts, the Skadden Arps partner who was just elected the new executive director of the NBA players’ union, commenting on whether her gender played any role in her election. (You can read more about Roberts’s background in this prior profile.)

The Constitution of the United States is a flawed document… [its] thinly veiled language… basically reaffirmed the legality of slavery.

– Justice Anthony Kennedy, explaining something historically accurate and entirely obvious to anyone with a third-grade education. But that hasn’t stopped right-wing commentators from freakingthe hellout, decrying Kennedy for suggesting that human bondage may undermine their totemic reliance on “original intent.” Because when the only justification for your preferred jurisprudence is that the Framers farted laser beams, a nuanced view of the Constitution isn’t in the cards.

‘Thank god they didn’t print my f**king name in this story!’

You’re going to take out your phone and you’re going to take my picture, I should break your f**king phone right here! I’m a college student! This is not a political thing where I’m walking away from your questions. F**k you! You are the worst member of society. I don’t need to speak to you. … Have a nice f**king life.

– A student’s curse-laden tirade against members of the press as he walked into an NYU Law School residence hall. Earlier, this genteel fellow was protesting Fordham Law professor Zephyr Teachout’s run for New York political office.


Joseph Wood

This man conducted a horrific murder and you guys are going, “Let’s worry about the drugs.” Why didn’t they give him a bullet? Why didn’t we give him Drano?

– Richard Brown, brother-in-law of Debra Dietz, the woman whom the recently executed Joseph Wood murdered in 1989. Wood was the subject of the latest botched execution in Arizona, where he reportedly gasped about 640 times throughout a nearly two-hour period as he lay dying on the excutioner’s gurney. It typically takes 10-15 minutes for lethal injection procedures to run their course.

John Allen

We were shocked to learn that our much-loved colleague John Allen, his wife Sandra and their sons Christopher, Julian and Ian were on board the Malaysia Airlines flight on route to Kuala Lumpur that crashed in the Ukraine on July 17. Our thoughts are with John’s family and his friends in and outside the office.

All of us who had the privilege of working with John during his 18 years at NautaDutilh came to know him as a kind, down-to-earth and humorous man and many of us have also lost a friend. He will be dearly missed.

– a statement from Dutch law firm NautaDutilh’s website, grieving over the loss of John Allen, a partner who had worked at the firm for the past 18 years.

Rengan Rajaratnam and Dan Gitner

It’s bad luck to get a haircut during trial.

Daniel Gitner of Lankler Siffert & Wohl, commenting on one of the personal grooming superstitions he forces those staffing cases with him to adopt. Gitner recently broke U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara’s winning streak in the successful prosecution of insider trading cases when his client, Rengan Rajaratnam, was acquitted. Gitner cut his hair after the trial concluded.

Listen to Bill Alverson and this tiara could be yours.

Small-firm lawyer Bill Alverson doesn’t show up on the first page of Google if you search for “lawyer in Andalusia, Alabama,” where Alverson’s firm is based. Which might be a problem for a lawyer relying on Google to generate clients.  After all, Andalusia has a population of only 9,078, so if you can’t make it onto the first page of Google there, can you make it anywhere?

But Alverson needn’t worry because his law practice isn’t an all-encompassing jealous mistress. Instead, Alverson has another kind of mistress on the side of his day job at his small father/son firm, Alverson & Alverson — dozens of them, really. As noted in this past weekend’s New York Times magazine (and today’s Quote of the Day), aspiring beauty queens retain Alverson to coach them to victory at state and national pageants.

Turns out, working with statutes and the statuesque have more in common than one might think….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer’s Crowning Achievement Comes From Focus On Posture, Not Posturing”

‘Your hair looks like [expletive]!’ – Bill Alverson

Being in front of a jury or a judge is the biggest pageant there is. Think of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ or ‘12 Angry Men.’ It’s about empowering the people who are going to make a decision to connect the dots. I set up the dots.

Bill Alverson of Alverson & Alverson, commenting on what it takes to win during his day job as a lawyer. Alverson has won cases before the Eleventh Circuit and Alabama’s Supreme Court, but he moonlights as one of America’s most-successful beauty pageant coaches. He’s paid $125 an hour for his unfiltered, tough-love advice, and he’s prepared many Miss USA and Miss America winners in the past.

Judge Stephanie Domitrovich

Do you even ethics bro?

– Language on a t-shirt depicting Judge Stephanie Domitrovich, worn by a man at the Erie County Courthouse yesterday. The man was asked to leave. Judge Domitrovich is currently facing ethics charges having to do with her alleged “unpatient, undignified and discourteous” treatment of parties.

Where’s my money?

For the most part, law firms realize it’s not a debatable question so most law firms pay.

– Attorney Mitchell Schley, who represents Jason Barros, a paralegal at the New Jersey firm of Pasricha & Patel. Barros and four other paralegals there are suing the firm for its alleged failure to pay time-and-a-half for overtime work.

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