Ed. note: Above the Law will not be publishing on Monday, May 25, in observance of the Memorial Day holiday.
* The settlement deal between Target and Mastercard over the 2013 data breach is dead after failing to garner the requisite issuer support. Proposed settlement: $19 million. Years of protracted litigation: Priceless. [Credit Union Times]
* High school teacher who admitted she and another teacher had a threesome with a 16-year-old student got off — well, legally — with a slap on the wrist. Folks are starting to wonder if her dad being a sitting district judge had anything to do with that. [Times-Picayune]
* On a similar note, Mama June of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo… fame? Is she famous? Whatever. The point is Mama June is toying with suing the TLC Network because they canceled her show over a child molester, but haven’t nuked 19 Kids and Counting in the wake of its brewing molestation scandal. When you consider these hit shows starring inbred hillbillies with molestation issues, remember that TLC stands for “The Learning Channel.” [TMZ]
* Lawmakers pushing back against Governor Cuomo’s proposal to appoint an independent monitor to investigate police-related civilian killings. One skeptical State Senator proclaims, “What I do know is that it treats police officers different than other citizens.” Yes, because right now the police get the same kid gloves grand jury presentations the rest of us do. [Capital New York]
* Texas prosecuted 115,782 truancies in a year, levying hefty fines and doling out jail time to kids as young as 12. Well hello there prison-industrial complex! [Al Jazeera America]
* Are the Yankees and A-Rod gearing up for arbitration… or settlement? I don’t know, why wouldn’t you want to put a warm, likeable guy like him in front of a panel? [Concurring Opinions]
* Judges must be the loneliest people on social media… [The Daily Record]
* Merely complaining to your boss is enough to trigger anti-retaliation provisions according to the Second Circuit. So feel free to call up that partner you hate… [JD Supra]
Some lawyers are best-served beavering away in the firm where they have worked since law school. For most legal careers, though, there come inflection points where a change of job can open a whole new world of opportunity. Recognizing whether your career has reached such an inflection point, and then knowing whom to trust to help […]
Police abuses against minorities don’t happen only in America, as Canadian columnist Steve Dykstra explains.
Are lawyers really to blame for an unfair judicial system?
Next time a black person tries to tell you about cops, maybe you should listen.
Columnist Renwei Chung explains how a murder in Milwaukee last April may have triggered Starbucks’s consciousness on race relations in America.
* We’ve seen the future and it’s drones shoving commercialism down your throats 24/7. Get ready America! [DigiDay]
* Federal judge mistaken for a maid because she’s black and everything is awful all the time. [South Florida Lawyers]
* While everyone focuses on the Supreme Court, the fight for marriage equality is still raging in the state courts. [Huffington Post]
* Yesterday marked the 45th anniversary of Attorney General Robert H. Jackson’s “The Federal Prosecutor” speech. Among many quotable admonitions against prosecutorial abuse: “While the prosecutor at his best is one of the most beneficent forces in our society, when he acts from malice or other base motives, he is one of the worst.” Perhaps he shouldn’t have given this speech on April Fools’ Day. [John Q. Barrett]
* The New York Court of Appeals has upheld St. John’s Law’s decision to rescind the admission of a student who admitted that he’d pleaded guilty to possession because he’d been arrested for intent to distribute. But only after taking three semesters worth of his money of course. [Legal Profession Blog]
* A law professor invites colleagues to break the mold of legal scholarship to build a “more authentic ethos.” In entirely related news, congratulations on tenure. [TaxProf Blog]
Some thoughts from columnist Renwei Chung on the controversial “Race Together” initiative from Starbucks.
Studies have found that 63 million Americans qualify for Legal Services Corporation-funded civil legal assistance. These lower-income persons may have serious legal needs, and when they do they completely mess up the courts smooth operations. In a survey of trial judges, more than 60% of the judges reported that unrepresented litigants had errors in procedure. 78% […]
If there isn’t a “true threat” of violence, what do you consider the “true threat” of these students’ rants? In other words, does the punishment fit the crime?
Was the SAE lynching song a true threat?
* As we mentioned, U.S. News is giving law schools less credit for hiring their own grads. Rumor has it that a few schools would’ve done better in the rankings but for their high percentage of school-funded jobs. Which ones? [WSJ Law Blog]
* Two students in the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity from Oklahoma University were expelled after a video of their racist chanting was leaked online. Lawyers want to know: was their expulsion a First Amendment violation? [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* UC Irvine Law debuted on the 2016 U.S. News law school rankings at No. 30, missing Dean Erwin Chemerinsky’s goal of starting out as a Top 20 school. Not to worry, Dean, there are still ways to game the rankings. Keep your head up! [National Law Journal]
* Don’t bother delaying your law school education just because the economy’s bad. The professors who told us that a law degree is worth $1 million think that its value will only drop by about $30K in times when unemployment is high. Yeah, okay. [ABA Journal]
* The grisly murder of DLA Piper associate David Messerschmitt, who was found stabbed to death in a Washington, D.C., hotel, remains unsolved. Police are still searching for the “person of interest” who was seen on video from the hotel’s security camera. [Legal Times]
SAE did about the only thing that still gets you called “racist” in America.
* A DOJ investigation concludes that the Ferguson Police Department and courts engaged in a “pattern and practice” of discrimination against African Americans. The investigation was conducted by the DOJ’s division of obvious things. [CNN]
* When police didn’t respond to his call fast enough, this guy tried to rob a convenience store to get the cops out there faster. And then they still didn’t come… [Legal Juice]
* King v. Burwell argument is almost here! Conservatives are really eager to take the law down. But would hurting Obamacare really hurt conservatives more in the end? [Bloomberg View]
* A California lawyer is proposing a new law to address homosexuality with “bullets to the head or by any other convenient method.” I don’t think that’ll pass. [Huffington Post]
* Authorities still harassing family who trusted a 10-year-old to walk outside without a parent hovering over them. It’s hard to criticize helicopter parents when they’re only following the law. [Washington Post]
* Fascinating use of the Internet: a crowdfunding campaign to help refugee mothers and children secure release from government detention. [Go Fund Me]
* In this preview of Professor Nancy Leong’s latest videocast, she talks with Professor Jessica Clarke about how courts treat sexual harassment cases in same- vs. opposite-sex harassment. [TheRightsCast]
* The FCC declares net neutrality. Now an explanation of what that really means. [Gizmodo]
* Today in “delightful things police departments do,” we have the tale of a woman held in a black site by Chicago police for 18 hours before being allowed to contact a lawyer. That’s the Chicago way. [The Guardian]
* Former Georgia Attorney General Mike Bowers — of Bowers v. Hardwick fame — now supports LGBT rights. That’s got to be the last one, right? Is there anyone still out there against this? [Buzzfeed]
* We should have more lawyer unions. To the barricades, colleagues! [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]
* Updating a previous item: Cooley filed its opposition to the federal government’s motion to dismiss in the troubling case of Judge Tabaddor, whom the government ordered to stop hearing immigration matters involving Iranians because she is Iranian-American. [Cooley LLP]
* The Harvard Law School Association Entrepreneurs Network invite you to a legal tech pitch night. It’s March 4th at 6:30 p.m. in NYC. Talkin’ law and technology. Be there and be square. [EventBrite]
* The CAC’s “Roberts At 10″ series continues, turning its gaze on the racial equality protections we used to have. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
Discrimination is not a ghost of the past, it is an issue that haunts our society today.
* A comprehensive look at Texas Department of Housing and Community Affairs v. The Inclusive Communities Project and how it could easily throw open the doors on racial discrimination. Texas? Racism? Nah. [Huffington Post]
* Getting nailed with 170K counts of accessory to murder. [Gawker]
* The big question on a lot of minds: should New York adopt the UBE? [Bar Exam Stats]
* FAA unleashes drones upon the public. [LXBN]
* In honor of an interview with Justice Ginsburg, MSNBC created a quiz to tell you just how RBG you are. I scored pretty well because I want sleep through the State of the Union too. [MSNBC]
* And while we’re at it, here’s video of their interview. [YouTube]
 One, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.