Robert S. Dyer

Before there was Four Loko there was, and still is, the Red Bull and vodka. You can pour nearly any amount of vodka into a glass and just a little bit of Red Bull will cut the taste enough so that you can drink it like water. Plus you’ll get an energy kick. Back in my day, when Red Bull was still made with ephedra, that kick was damn noticeable.

Red Bull and vodka is a great way to start a night. It’s a great way to extend a night. It’s a terrible way to end a night. At the end of the night, you don’t need all that alcohol and energy. You need a cab and a glass of water.

One lawyer in D.C. learned that lesson the hard way. He had a Red Bull and Vodka right before closing time, and ended up “bleeding all over Georgetown.” Now he’s suing the bar for giving him that last drink.

And, you know, cutting off his finger…

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