Sam Hurd

* Hey, I’m doing Non-Sequiturs. It’s been a while. Why don’t you check out this thorough examination about why two-year law schools will never happen while I get my bearings. [The Atlantic]

* The Alec Baldwin stalker trial has been awesome. Baldwin cried. He told a photographer “I hope you choke to death.” The alleged stalker had to be removed from the courtroom. I can’t wait till Ben Affleck plays Alec in the movie. [Gawker]

That cat in the hat knows a lot about how stupid 12-year-olds are.

* Lawyer gets her ass kicked because her client was a dog. Of course, she was in Dog Court so that is to be expected. [Alaska Dispatch]

* Can women “have it all” in Biglaw? No, of course not. I’m starting to think that’s a stupid question. Here’s a better question: how can we make it easier for women to ignore their families, overcome sexism, and become empty husks where a person once lived so those who want to can chase Biglaw partnership just as easily as the men do. [New York Times]

* NFL receiver/drug kingpin/victim of the war on drugs is going to be sentenced soon. [Monday Morning Quarterback]

* Okay, I’ve hit stupid law schools, pets, sexism… what am I missing? Oh I know, they’ll be a settlement in the Central Park Five case. BILL DE BLASIO WAS SENT HERE TO END RACISM! [Huffington Post]

* JoePa likes to end these things with some kind of video, but no legally related video happened today. Unless you’re a personal injury attorney who counts the Harlem Globetrotters as your clients. Then, you might have a case against this basketball hoop maker for violating their implied warranty of dunkability…

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Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.

It wasn’t until law school that I realized adult life was one long series of birthday dinners. There was one every week it seemed. And at one birthday dinner in particular, I gave a speech that would haunt me for the rest of my law school career. Like an STD.

It was somebody’s birthday and we were eating Mexican food. And I was stationed at one end of the extra-long tables near a few friends and acquaintances. Several beers into the meal, I loudly steered the conversation towards a discussion of herpes. I’m not really sure why I did this. I think I had read something on the intertubes that day. At any rate, I told my end of the table that herpes was way more commonplace than they thought, and that the effect of the disease was far less dire than they thought. That, sure, some cases were worse than others, but that the puritanical myth-makers in our culture had convinced us that it was worse than death. Which it wasn’t. I was in high dudgeon, my friends. The floor was mine, and I was taking no prisoners in my attack on what I had deemed a cultural sex libel. “I’m telling you, ladies and germs. Herpes is NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!”

Not a single girl present at that dinner ever came close to having sex with me. On a related note, Kris Humphries was sued for allegedly giving a girl the herp.

Sports? Let’s talk it….

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