Schola2Juris

* A bleak, expressionist write-up of the bar exam experience. If you ever wondered what the subject of The Scream was doing right beforehand, it was apparently “taking the bar exam.” [Law of the Dead]

* The traditional summer associate program model needs restructuring. Are you suggesting four-hour lunches are passé? Because… shame, sir, shame. [SSRN]

* The sequester is slowing down the patent office. So now the irate patent attorney has something else to blame for not getting his client’s application approved. [Patently O]

* As our tipster put it, this may be a statement against interest: Snowden once declared that traitors should be “shot in the balls.” [NY Post]

* A breakdown of unconstitutional animus in U.S. v. Windsor. If the author could figure out Justice Kennedy’s train of thought all the way through, kudos! [Associate's Mind]

* If you’re ever planning a graduation party, just don’t do this. [Legal Juice]

* Examining the misappropriation of trade secrets on Earth-616, and whatever Earth the DC people are in these days. I gave up on them two Crises ago. [Law and the Multiverse]

* Federal prosecutors may go after Long Island Power Authority for their poor response to Hurricane Sandy. [Breaking Energy]

* And this recap of the Hollingsworth opinion concludes with a GIF that is sure to warm the hearts of many an ATL commenter. [Eff Yeah SCOTUS]

* A recovering attorney is starting a cake pop business. Never had a cake pop? Then you’re dumb. Or, I guess, diabetic. Sorry if you’re diabetic. [Kickstarter]

* Wondering what happened to the survivors of the crash of the USS Vengeance in the new Star Trek movie? This is how their trials would likely go down. [The Legal Geeks]

* If you’re looking for a new dean for your law school, look no further. [Law Prof Blawg]

* Student debt is crushing the business dreams of a Tulane law grad. Apparently she just can’t make her payments running her sorority recruiting business. Wait a minute? I thought “sororities” handle “sorority recruiting.” [Bloomberg]

* New York City feels hipsters everyone needs to be warned not to wear bowling shoes outside. [Lowering the Bar]

* As promised, the second installment of an interview with biochemist attending Yale Law School. [Science to Law]

* Before rising 3Ls realize nobody is coming to interview them, maybe we should point them towards the Schola2Juris program of Waller Lansden? It’s application period opens on June 7th. [Schola2Juris]

Judge Sam Sparks

* Remember the “kindergarten party” that Judge Sam Sparks (W.D. Tex.) was planning to hold? His Honor has canceled the festivities. [WSJ Law Blog]

* John Althouse Cohen — yes, son of La Althouse — discusses one way in which Texas might be emulating… Europe? [Jaltcoh]

* Professor Paul Campos opens up a can of whoop-ass on people who say students go to law school — and take on six figures of debt — “for the chance to make a difference.” [Inside the Law School Scam]

* Musical Chairs: Mr. Quinn Goes To Washington (with the help of three Alston & Bird partners). [ABA Journal]

* The latest news on Stephen McDaniel / Lauren Giddings: if the blue gloves don’t fit, you must acquit? [Macon Telegraph]

* Above the Law — of animal cruelty? Steven Seagal, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, a dead dog, and a rooster massacre. [TPM Muckraker]

Steven Seagal

* After a judge shot down the effort by NBA star Gilbert Arenas to stop “Basketball Wives: Los Angeles” from airing, Arenas’s ex-fiancee, Laura Govan, was allowed to strut her stuff on television — and it wasn’t pretty. [Sister2Sister]

* Congratulations to super-mensch Stanley Levy, senior counsel at Manatt, on winning Am Law’s Lifetime Achievement Award for 2011. [American Lawyer]

* And congrats to Masimba Mutamba, a 3L at Miami Law, who has just been awarded an apprenticeship with Waller Lansden’s innovative Schola2Juris program. [University of Miami School of Law]