SCOTUS

James Holmes

* For the first time ever, someone managed to record secret video footage at SCOTUS during oral arguments — and, of course, it’s secret video footage of the McCutcheon protestor’s outburst. You can check it out after the jump. [Reuters]

* After a brief hospitalization yesterday, Attorney General Eric Holder was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health. It looks like he won’t have to go to one of those Obamacare death panels after all! [Washington Post]

* “The trajectory of an associate in a law firm has changed irreversibly.” Ain’t that the truth. But seriously, what happened to all of the Biglaw lawyers who were Lathamed way back in 2009? Here are some of their stories. [Am Law Daily]

* More law schools are trying to convince students to attend by offering scholarships. Tulsa will toss you cash if you’re from the sticks, and TJSL will guarantee you money if you’re smart. [National Law Journal]

* A trial date has been set for accused Colorado movie theater shooter James Holmes. Get ready to see this crazy face on HLN 24 hours a day while Nancy Grace offers her ever insightful commentary. [CNN]

(Keep reading to see the now legendary Supreme Court oral argument protest footage.)

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A spectator who dutifully waited in line to gain admission to the Supreme Court’s hearing today just popped up out of his seat and started heckling the Court. It’s times like this that you really wish the Court would join the mid-20th century and install a camera or two so we could see how hard Justice Alito’s eyes roll back into his head when the person he’s listening to isn’t even a Supreme Court justice. I’m guessing it looks like when a Great White bites down.

The cops yanked away the protestor soon after he began. But obviously he succeeded in changing the world before they did.

So what issue got this protestor so riled up that he crashed the Supreme Court?

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SCOTUS: coming to a theater near you?

If you’re a legal geek who loves theater (I know I am), these are exciting times. Here in New York, you can check out a play in which a legal luminary’s daughter appears naked. Down in D.C. in a few weeks, you can attend Arguendo, the SCOTUS-themed play by Elevator Repair Service that’s being staged by the Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company. (I saw the play last year and enjoyed it.)

That’s not all. Also coming to Washington: a new play featuring a Supreme Court justice as its star….

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* Baseball is trying to ban home plate collisions, because why have any aspect of the sport be exciting? Here’s an exercise in statutory interpretation featuring the new rule. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Former judge forced to resign at age 40 under a gathering cloud of sexual harassment allegations now collects $65,000 a year in pension. And it looks like he may be claiming “sex addiction” as a disability. Bravo. [WDSU]

* Should legal writing professors be treated like nurses? [Dorf on Law]

* The world’s top Bitcoin exchange, Mt.Gox, just shut down, and millions of real dollars worth of fake money is missing. I’m excited to see the bevy of Libertarian Bitcoin fanatics who praise the decentralized “new Gold standard” and publicly trash its critics explain this one. [Valleywag]

* Are bar associations moving online? [Law Sites]

* Forget your cell phone, the feds have been spending millions to warrantlessly collect your very breath. [Jalopnik]

* Twitter account posting every frame of Top Gun lands user in the danger zone. [IT-Lex]

* Our own David Lat did some speculating about who the next Supreme Court justice might be. [Ozy]

* That hope that the government would deport Justin Bieber? Here’s why that just isn’t legally going to happen. Video after the jump… [Bloomberg Law]

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Amanda Bynes

* SCOTUS seems divided over its greenhouse gas regulation case. Just remember, justices, there’s “no such thing as greenhouse gas,” and if you think there is, you can “go f@ck yourself and die.” [Legal Times]

* DLA Piper, Fenwick & West, and William Fry are advising on the King.com (aka Candy Crush) IPO. Cool. Know that the public will refuse to invest until those damn chocolate blockers go away. [The Lawyer]

* “Guys like them are the reason people hate lawyers.” When your lawyers do you this badly, you end up living in one of their homes as part of a settlement. Of course this happened in Florida. [Sun Sentinel]

* If you’re in the market for an apartment, we hear Brooklyn Law School just sold a bunch of its student housing to a real estate developer. Per the dean, the school is now so small the apartments were unnecessary. Yikes. [Brooklyn Daily Eagle]

* Amanda Bynes took a plea deal on her DUI charge. She’ll serve three years of probation and pay a fine. Maybe when she’s done, she’ll pull a Lohan and appear naked in a movie. Young men can hope. [CNN]

* The Ed O’Bannon suit against the NCAA will proceed to trial in June barring settlement. Football writer/genius Spencer Hall put it best when he described the hearing as “a judge looks at amateurism and says ‘this is bulls**t’ in legalese.” [Sports Illustrated]

* McCutcheon will usher in even more campaign finance excess, but could alleviate gridlock. Plutocracies are efficient! [Election Law Blog]

* Hold the phone! Coerced confessions aren’t admissible? Next thing you’ll tell us is waterboarding is illegal. Thanks Obama. [New York Law Journal]

* Juror who couldn’t stop using Facebook didn’t cause a mistrial because he didn’t post any details about the case. In other news, he really needs a goat in FarmVille you guys, so if anyone can hook him up, that’d be great. (Alternative heading for this one: “11 Angry Men, 1 ‘Likes This’”) [IT-Lex]

* Disbarred lawyer mistakenly allowed to serve as a judge. But only for about 16 years, so it’s all cool. [Washington City Paper]

* “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the [Baby Boomer] lawyers.” [Law and More]

* A California lawsuit argues that pro-teacher policies in the state are hurting education. The defendants point to the fact that California’s educational administration and funding in the state is best described as a “sh*tshow.” Experts are fighting it out with some novel metrics. [The Expert Institute]

* * Elie talks about the new ad for cameras in the Supreme Court and the EPA’s power to regulate greenhouse gases on Legalese It! with Mike Sacks. Video embedded below… [Huffington Post Live]

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Kristen Saban

* Justice Scalia apparently has an ulterior motive for his hatred of deep-dish pizza: “He’s just trying to undermine Barack Obama because he’s a Chicago guy.” God, can’t the guy just like New York style pizza better? Come on. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* Now that the Federal Communication Commission’s net neutrality rules have been smacked down by the D.C. Circuit, the agency is going to start from scratch and come up with some new ones. Yeah, good luck with that. [National Law Journal]

* “Roll your window up, ignore the taunting, put your car in reverse, move a parking spot over.” These are some of the ways you can avoid killing black teenagers over loud music, says a Michael Dunn juror. [CNN]

* The toupee gave it away: A lawyer who used to work as an i-banker at Stratton Oakmont is suing for defamation over a character he claims was modeled after him in the “Wolf of Wall Street.” [ABC News]

* The lawsuit filed against Nick Saban’s daughter by her sorority sister was tossed under Alabama’s “stand your ground” rule over her objections that she was kind of like a defenseless receiver. [Associated Press]

Stephanie Adams: this Playmate knows the law.

* We’re not sure that the best way to convince the Supreme Court to allow television broadcast coverage of its proceedings is to air commercials on news channels. Even SCOTUS justices fast forward during the commercials. [Legal Times]

* Old farts just wanna have fun: Retired Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens told reporters about a wild night out with the late Justice William Brennan that involved Ginger Rogers and pants that were too big. [National Law Journal]

* When “the only way to be successful [as a first-year associate] is to go into the role expecting to be treated poorly,” it’s no wonder that Biglaw firms continue to fail their women lawyers. [Washington Post]

* Just because you work at a small, boutique, or mid-size firm, it doesn’t mean your bonus bounty will be less than that of your Biglaw brethren. You could actually earn much, much more. [New York Law Journal]

* Yes, you can be fired for being “too cute.” No, it’s not gender discrimination. Sorry, beauties, but being a hottie isn’t protected a characteristic under Title VII, says this Playboy Playmate. [Corporate Counsel]

[Chicago style] shouldn’t be called pizza. It’s very tasty, but it’s not pizza.

– Justice Antonin Scalia, an Italian American, criticizing the Second City’s deep-dish style of pizza at the Union League Club of Chicago’s 126th Annual George Washington’s Birthday Gala.

Justice Scalia

[Victories for same-sex marriage] will keep happening. And someday soon, Justice Scalia will have the chance to deliver the most vitriolic ‘I told you so’ in recent Supreme Court memory.

Jesse Wegman, a member of the New York Times Editorial Board, discussing how prescient Justice Antonin Scalia has been on the issue of marriage equality.

(Additional notable quotes and links, after the jump.)

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