Texas

* George P. Bush is launching a run to be the Attorney General of Texas. Maybe someday, Oliver Stone will make a movie about him called “P.”… [CNN]

* Derek Chauvin’s lawyer is requesting that his client only be sentenced to probation and time served for Chauvin’s involvement in the death of George Floyd. [Insider]

* The District Attorney in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, is allegedly no longer allowing plea deals with a lawyer who called out systematic racism in the local criminal justice system. [CBS News]

* A lawyer claims that coaches forced a high school football player to consume a pepperoni pizza even though they knew he did not eat pork. [New York Times]

* A Republican Congressman is reportedly ducking service of process for a lawsuit related to the January 6th Capitol riot. [CBS News]

* The Missouri Supreme Court has ruled that a $3 fee to pay for a sheriff’s retirement fund was unconstitutional. Think of what the Party Planning Committee could have done with that money… [Fox News]

* A Michigan lawyer, who allegedly gave his adversary the middle finger during a virtual court hearing, has purportedly been fined $3,000. That’s one expensive bird… [Detroit Free Press]

* Unvaccinated workers at a Houston hospital are suing over their employer’s vaccination mandate. [Washington Post]

* A Philadelphia-area attorney passed away last week hours after he was pulled from a bay in Longport, New Jersey. [Fox News]

* Johnson & Johnson is asking the Supreme Court to hear an ovarian cancer case that resulted in a $2 billion judgment against the company. [NBC News]

* A retired attorney is now the oldest person to have scaled Mount Everest. [Chicago Tribune]

* Former Brooks Brothers executives are embroiled in litigation with a former supplier. Guess they are getting experience with another kind of suit… [Sourcing Journal]

* A Texas court has ruled that a lawyer’s statements in press releases were not protected by the judicial-process privilege. [ABA Journal]

* A New York attorney, who allegedly stole millions from clients in the form of real estate proceeds, has been disbarred. [New York Law Journal]

* The Manhattan District Attorney has convened a grand jury to investigate Donald Trump’s business dealings. [Guardian]

* A class action claims that delivery drivers for a pizza chain were allegedly underpaid. Guess they are just asking for a bigger piece of the pie and wanted more dough… [Seattle Times]

Everyone has standing to sue anyone. That sounds like a super efficient plan!

* Hershey has a new general counsel. Hope his compensation package is “sweet”… [Reuters]

* A celebrity lawyer, who represented the late DMX, has listed his New York City duplex for sale. [New York Post]

* A Texas judge has refused to move a lawsuit against Google from Texas to California. Should be fine, a lot of tech companies are moving to Texas these days anyways… [Reuters]

* A Brooklyn lawyer has pleaded guilty to running a $6 million real estate scam. [Patch]

* Bacardi has won a lawsuit against a former distributor. To celebrate, maybe they should sip Bacardi like it’s their birthday… [Spirits Business]

* To-go alcohol from restaurants and bars has been made permanently legal in the Lone Star State. Time to order some Texas-sized cocktails to go… [People]

* An Orlando lawyer allegedly left her kids at home to run an SUV into their father’s house. [Miami Herald]

* A Central Pennsylvania lawyer, who is accused of threatening to kill United States Senators and shoot his wife, has been disbarred. [Patriot News]

* The top federal prosecutor in Chicago was hospitalized recently after suffering stroke-like symptoms. [Chicago Tribune]

* A lawsuit has been filed over a failed sale over the domain name “bird.com” and other URLs. The buyer should have known a bird in hand is better than two in the bush… [Domain Name Wire]

Religious fear and hatred of nonbelievers is real, the question is whether legal mechanisms exist that nonbelievers can utilize to defend themselves. 

* A new lawsuit alleges a New Jersey family ate feces-covered food at a McDonald’s. One heck of a special sauce… [Patch]

* Harvey Weinstein has sued his former lawyer to recover supposedly unearned legal fees. [Hill]

* San Diego County will provide lawyers to immigrants facing deportation proceedings. [Minnesota Lawyer]

* A man has been convicted of stalking a high-profile Texas attorney. [Dallas Morning News]

* Rudy Giuliani’s allies are allegedly asking that Donald Trump’s team help pay Rudy’s legal bills. A family that pays together, stays together…[Hill]

* Georgia passed a new law aimed at curbing illegal street racing. Probably safer to stick with the midnight train to Georgia… [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

* The New York Attorney General is arguing that the NRA’s bankruptcy case should be dismissed. [ABC News]

* A Texas lawyer known as the “DUI Guy” has been sentenced to serious prison time for federal charges. [Dallas Morning News]

* The County of Los Angeles has denied wrongdoing in a lawsuit filed by Vanessa Bryant over photos of the deadly helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant were circulated. [USA Today]

* Disney and Marvel are facing a lawsuit claiming they ripped off designs for Iron Man and Ant Man. [WDWNT]

* Former Attorney General Eric Holder, Jr. now bills at $2,295 an hour in private practice. Quite a step up from the government grind… [ABA Journal]

* A disbarred lawyer has been sentenced to prison for stealing nearly $1 million from a first responder who suffered 9/11-related illnesses. [New York Daily News]

* A Texas attorney has been charged in a $225 million tax fraud. [Houston Chronicle]

* Attorney General Merrick Garland led a commemoration for the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombings, a case with which Garland was involved as a federal prosecutor. [New York Times]

* The lawyer for “pharma bro” Martin Shkreli is having his retirement accounts garnished as part of a restitution order related to purported wire and securities fraud. [ABA Journal]

* A Texas electricity utility is being sued over alleged price gouging. Guess it’s not normal to get an electric bill for nearly $10,000… [Houston Chronicle]

* Immigration lawyers in Massachusetts are asking to be eligible to receive the COVID-19 vaccine. [Boston.com]

* Check out this article about the best options for term limits at the Supreme Court. [Bloomberg Law]

* Mitch McConnell is backing Merrick Garland’s nomination to be Attorney General. [CBS News]

* A Pennsylvania lawyer pleaded guilty to stealing thousands of dollars from his former wife and mother-in-law to purchase porn, strip club visits, and other items. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* A series of lawsuits have been filed against manufacturers of baby food in recent months. And this litigation is not child’s play… [National Law Review]

Plumbers are in demand, so Kirkland has a plan.

Kindness counts during disasters.

Law school just isn't the top priority for Texas students right now.

* Starbucks is being sued for allegedly failing to have real vanilla in its chilled Frappuccinos. Hope the plaintiff doesn’t settle like Kramer… [National Law Review]

* A California lawyer was arrested earlier this week for allegedly defrauding investors of nearly $5 million on a bogus real estate opportunity. [KTLA]

* A Texas lawyer is claiming that receiving stimulus money can lead to a higher divorce rate. [CBS News]

* A lawyer has been sentenced to a prison term for charging a client for immigration work and never doing the promised tasks. [Go Erie]

* One of Donald Trump’s impeachment lawyers apparently sued Trump last year. Must be water under the bridge… [Vanity Fair]

In a recent twist, a judge's practice of refusing to make decisions on pending transfer motions a 'top priority' came under withering assault from the Federal Circuit.

Learn how to change your Zoom filters, right meow.

* A woman accused of assaulting a police officer for impounding her pig has been assigned counsel. Guess the government is paying that lawyer’s “bacon”… [Texarkana Gazette]

* The Justice Department has dropped a lawsuit against Yale University alleging that the school discriminated against Asian and white applicants. [CNN]

* The Supreme Court has ruled in favor of Germany in an action filed by the heirs of individuals who had their art stolen by the Nazis. [SCOTUSBlog]

* A Cleveland lawyer is suing a former client who punched him in court. [Cleavland.com]

* A Texas lawyer connected to a probe involving the Attorney General of Texas says he found a GPS tracker on his car. Sounds like something from an episode of Dallas… [Fox News]