1) Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston; Law & Order)
v.
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2) Alan Shore (James Spader; Boston Legal)
I wanted to just go and grab YouTube clips of the greatest closing arguments from these lawyers, but I decided that I don’t want Dick Wolf and David E. Kelley showing up at my office with baseball bats. Suffice it to say that these are two of the best closers in television history. I love the way Alan Shore closes. He’s so smart. And he appeals to people as they are, not some idealized version of a jury. He’s really able to appeal to some of their baser instincts, without letting them know that he is talking down to them the entire time. Shore has both condescension and subtly. It’s a beautiful skill set.
One that I don’t have.
But you know what I do have? The white-hot righteous indignation that Jack McCoy is able to bring with him on a per episode basis. Everything I’ve ever learned about being indignant, I learned from Jack. There are closing arguments where Jack is just sitting there, screaming at the jury about what they must do. Can you do that in real life? McCoy’s one of those guys you wish you could put into everyday situations, just to see him get riled up.
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WAITER: We don’t have Coke, is a Pepsi okay?
MCCOY: What?
WAITER: We don’t serve Coke here, only Pepsi products.
MCCOY: Am I to understand that YOUR ESTABLISHMENT has entered into some kind of COMMERCIAL arrangement where your customers cannot purchase carbonated beverages they want, but instead must choose from only what YOU DECIDED TO PROVIDE?
WAITER: Uhh… yeah?
MCCOY: You and your CORPORATE PARTNERS?
WAITER: I guess.
MCCOY: [eyebrow dance] And SO, you don’t really care what the PEOPLE want, you just care about which soft drink maker will give you the best DEAL?
WAITER: I wouldn’t put it…
MCCOY: Even though the evidence shows that customers prefer Coke to Pepsi by a two to one margin?
WAITER: …
MCCOY: Why don’t you tell us what really happened to the Coca-Cola?
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