Non-Sequiturs: 07.31.13

* Daniel Chong, the student that the DEA locked in a cell and forgot about for a few days, has settled his lawsuit against the government for $4.1 million. No snark here, congratulations. [CNN] * Meanwhile, O.J. Simpson is getting parole (but not quite getting released yet). Here comes Naked Gun 4! [ABC News] * A Kenyan lawyer is challenging the trial of Jesus Christ at the International Court of Justice. [Legal Cheek] * Professor Paul Campos notes that from 2004-2013, it’s gotten much easier to get into law school. This year 80 percent of students applying to law school will get in somewhere. At least the profession is upholding its high standards. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * DMX declared bankruptcy because bankruptcy actually makes it easier to get a passport. How is DMX broke? Are the residuals from Exit Wounds not paying the bills? [Grantland] * King & Wood Mallesons and SJ Berwin LLP are merging to create one of the largest law firms in the world. Dewey think a merger is a good idea? [WSJ Law Blog] * A follow-up on a previous item, checking in on the status of the petition to save the federal defenders one week in. [PrawfsBlawg] * A profile of the “eighth governor” of the Federal Reserve and Georgetown Law grad, General Counsel Scott G. Alvarez. I would say this is a fascinating look at a prominent regulatory staff member, but the article makes it clear that “regulation” is not exactly the Alvarez agenda. [DealBook] * Watch the dean of a law school defend a 0 percent bar passage rate. [ABC 33/40] * Another new resource out there — LawTrades. Basically, it’s ZocDoc for lawyers where lawyers can register and prospective clients can search for an attorney who meets their needs. [LawTrades] * What are the greatest legal novels of all time? The ABA Journal assembled a panel including our own David Lat and provided a list. You can disagree, but I see one of Archer’s favorites made the list (clip after the jump)…