Where to even begin?
Models often find themselves in awkward poses. Models whose work borders on the porn industry often find themselves in really awkward poses. The model in this story works in the latter milieu. She’s Elizabeth Dickson, and she models for Playboy. As part of this career, she shoved a golf tee in her tail.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Well, she could get injured and sue for $500,000 plus punitives, I suppose. In her role as the winner of the 2011 “Girls of Playboy Golf” competition — which is apparently a thing — she made a fateful decision:
Dickson agreed to have a photo taken of her lying on her stomach “with her buttocks partially exposed” so that Kevin Klein, co-host of the show, could hit a golf ball put atop a tee that was inserted between her butt cheeks, the suit alleges.
You can see where this is going. But first, “Girls of Playboy Golf”? Do they do this with every sport? Like, is there a “Girls of Playboy Curling” pictorial out there? And if so, what degrading poses would they find themselves in? Because brooms and 40-pound hunks of granite invite some dangerous options.
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Back to the narrative. So, she’s — allegedly — going to get hit in the ass with a golf club, because that’s how consequences work:
However, Klein missed the tee and “struck plaintiff on the buttocks, causing her injuries and damages,” the suit states.
Replace your divots.
What more can I say? Not much. I mean, someone else has already made the “Fore-Play” joke. I guess that was predictable.
Not as predictable as “having someone swing a golf club at my butt will end poorly,” but predictable nonetheless.
Model Sues Playboy, Morning Show Host For Hitting Her In Butt With Golf Club [CBS Los Angeles]