Non-Sequiturs: 11.18.14

* We are coming to Chicago, and we’d love to see you at our event on Thursday night — RSVP here. [Above the Law] * Wait, FIFA may be dishonest? Kirkland partner Michael Garcia announces plans to appeal after FIFA releases ethics report on the Russia and Qatar World Cup bidding process that contains “numerous materially incomplete and erroneous representations of the facts and conclusions.” And he should know since he worked on the investigation. [Am Law Daily] * Behold the all-purpose citation! [Lowering the Bar] * Regarding yesterday’s crazy “woman sues the owner of the dog that her dogs killed,” an astute reader notes that a year ago, the Texas Supreme Court limited damages in pet deaths to “animal’s market worth.” So in the interest of reining in damages, the courts gave the victim less incentive to sue than the owner of the perpetrators. Sounds like a great system there. [Dallas Morning News] * The holidays are around the corner. Get that special lawyer some prints of courthouses around the country to spruce up their office. [Courthouses of America] * Wow. California school district argues that 14-year-old girl could legally consent to sex with her teacher because, I mean, come on, we all knew she was a slut. This happened. In 2014. [Slate] * Advice that should go double for lawyers: sometimes you really just need to drop acid to clear your head. [What About Clients?] * Professors who refuse to retire are the worst. [TaxProf Blog]