If you weren’t hovering around Twitter Thursday night, you missed out on the frantic, spontaneous, and amazing comedy of the early hours of #scalia4kids. The tweets have started to slow from those heady early times, but the premise is still attracting some top-notch jokes. This is why they invented Twitter!
It all started yesterday morning, shortly after the King v. Burwell announcement, when I sent around my quick take on the decision with the tagline:
Nino and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for conservatives.
As the day progressed, the social media fascination with Justice Scalia’s use of “jiggery-pokery” kept building steam. Literally everyone was getting in on the action:
.@WeakJoke Offended. I gave up jiggery-poking years ago.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 25, 2015
Then, fate stepped in. Responding to Professor Rick Hasen (a future guest on Thinking Like A Lawyer, stay tuned), L.A. Times Op-Ed editor Juliet Lapidos made the following quip:
Do Law School Rankings Affect Your Choice?
Share your insights in this brief survey.
https://twitter.com/julietlapidos/status/614175000858226688
As they say, alcohol is the mother of invention, and I stabbed “Retweet” attaching my earlier faux children’s book title, slapped on the hashtag “#scalia4kids,” and dared the Twittersphere to come up with alternative children’s book titles if penned by Justice Antonin Scalia. For the first hour, it was mostly an in-joke with Kathryn joining in and swapping proposed titles with me.
Applesauce is NOT part of a balanced diet #scalia4kids cc @JosephPatrice
— Kathryn Rubino (@Kathryn1) June 25, 2015
Goodnight Gore #scalia4kids
— Joe Patrice (@JosephPatrice) June 25, 2015
Nancy Drew and the Case of the Argle-Bargle #scalia4kids cc @josephpatrice
— Kathryn Rubino (@Kathryn1) June 25, 2015
Harriet the Spy Can't Sue For Shit — Tenet v. Doe https://t.co/MlnP1wYuTc #scalia4kids
— Joe Patrice (@JosephPatrice) June 25, 2015
Tales of a Supreme Court Nothing #scalia4kids cc @josephpatrice
— Kathryn Rubino (@Kathryn1) June 25, 2015
After this, Staci showed up and then the floodgates opened. Some 3,000 tweets later — and still going — and with visits from Justice Don Willett, Judge Stephen Dillard, the Cato Institute’s Walter Olson, Dealbreaker’s newest editor Thornton McEnery, and avowed hashtag war fan Popehat, the readers racked up some pretty impressive gags. It is impossible to catalog all the great ideas that ran through my Twitter feed last night and this morning, but here are some of the finest (and more are catalogued at Storify pages like this one):
The GOP Fat Cat in the Hat #scalia4kids
— Staci Zaretsky (@stacizaretsky) June 25, 2015
https://twitter.com/FoodCurmudgeon/status/614203185436229633
https://twitter.com/TravisArbon/status/614203394266398720
The Little Engine That Could Not Do Anything Unless The Framers Intended It #scalia4kids
— Thornton McEnery (@ThorntonMcEnery) June 25, 2015
Antonin Scalia: A Series of Unfortunate Opinions #scalia4kids
— Staci Zaretsky (@stacizaretsky) June 25, 2015
https://twitter.com/SonyaOldsSom/status/614217622448508928
Where the Constitution ends #scalia4kids
— Doug Sherwin (@SDDT_Doug) June 25, 2015
Dubiously convicted murderers, go the f*ck to sleep #scalia4kids
— x_X_I Love the Universe_X_x (@Universe__Lover) June 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/jillthrash/status/614218307458236416
Horton Must Carry His Egg To Term #scalia4kids
— Adam Steinbaugh (@adamsteinbaugh) June 25, 2015
https://twitter.com/Goldni/status/614218535418462209
Don't Let the Chief Justice Drive the Bus! #Scalia4kids
— Lawprofblawg (@lawprofblawg) June 25, 2015
"And to Think That I Saw It on One First Street" #Scalia4Kids pic.twitter.com/iXrZqBwPhS
— Judge Don Willett (@JusticeWillett) June 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/Popehat/status/614222643193982977
https://twitter.com/walterolson/status/614224988594405377
https://twitter.com/LawsoftheSEA/status/614227622009139200
https://twitter.com/ackja/status/614227676577067008
A Wrinkle in Text #scalia4kids
— Antonin Scalia (@SCOTUScare) June 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/TedMcClelland/status/614232401892540416
https://twitter.com/djsziff/status/614236747510120448
Goosebumps 2d, Book 8: It Came From Beneath the 9th Circuit. #scalia4kids
— Adam Hanson (@adam_hanson1) June 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/fibrogirl47/status/614237812544700416
Encyclopedia Brown v. Board of Ed. #scalia4kids
— Ryan S. Perlin (@rperlin) June 26, 2015
#scalia4kids Charlie and the Closely Held Christian Chocolate Factory
— GPT- Ern Malley (@MoralHazardPay) June 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/GetGeophysical/status/614240138109947908
One of these conservatives is not like the others. #Scalia4kids
— Lawprofblawg (@lawprofblawg) June 26, 2015
The unsubsidized contraception in the cupboard #scalia4kids
— Deepa Sharma ⚖️ (@DeepaSharmaEsq) June 26, 2015
Are You There God, It's Me Margaret. I work at Hobby Lobby… #scalia4kids
— Peg Perl ☕🗳️ 📜🚗💍 (@Peg_Perl) June 26, 2015
Everybody Pooped in the Founding Era #scalia4kids
— Steve Klepper (@MDAppeal) June 26, 2015
RINOs Aren't Just in Zoos #scalia4kids #SCOTUS
— Justice Alito (@JusticeAlito) June 26, 2015
Old Heller. #scalia4kids
— Judge Stephen Dillard (@JudgeDillard) June 26, 2015
Chicka Chicka Jiggery-Pokery #scalia4kids
— Corey Yung @[email protected] (@CoreyRYung) June 26, 2015
https://twitter.com/SonyaOldsSom/status/614248191576289280
And on and on and on it went into the wee hours of the morning. And it continues, even sparking a spinoff hashtag “#fortunes4scalia” based on Justice Scalia’s “fortune cookie” jab in this morning’s dissent.
https://twitter.com/danielschwartz/status/614440280763318272
This was epic fun. Keep being fantastic, readers.
Best of the #Scalia4kids Books [Storify]
Earlier: Justice Scalia Is A Sad, Sad Man