Deans come and go. Some go far more rapidly than others. Even more importantly, some deans go and everyone across the land (and law school) is relieved, never uttering the dean’s name except with contempt and hostility. You don’t want to be that dean, do you?
There may be more than seven sins that will land you in the purgatory of most despised person on the planet, but let’s just start with seven.
- Wrath. If you lash out at a faculty or staff member for a perceived wrong, you are committing this sin. Did the faculty or staff member really mean to slight you, or were their intentions good and they just ran across some unforeseeable button that triggers you? Regardless, keep your cool. If you seem spiteful and petty, word will travel fast about your behavior.
Part of wrath is that you might take things personally that should not be taken personally. Did someone disagree with an idea important to you? Did someone steal your thunder? Regardless of the cause, chill out and take the high road.
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- Vanity. I once had an associate dean who felt that the only people who could do right were (magically) him and his besties. His own scholarship was beyond reproach, while everyone else’s lacked value. That’s a good way to assure faculty will hold you in high contempt. Or perhaps you like to give stern lectures about how faculty members are unproductive, useless, slothful morons that don’t meet your standards? In short, while confidence is inspirational, narcissism is a deadly sin for a dean.
- Avarice. Are you keeping resources to yourself rather than spreading the wealth? Do you have a hidden coffer of money with which to reward your lackeys and withhold from other faculty members? If so, you might be engaged in this sin, with maybe a smidgeon of wrath.
- Secrecy. Do you make decisions without consulting the faculty? Do you view the faculty as your enemy, or a hurdle full of stupid people? Do you feel the need to control information? Better yet, do you just give a little information so that the faculty are left to draw their own conclusions, adding fuel to the paranoia fire? If so, you’re running the risk of fostering paranoia and dissent, and starting the seed of your future ouster.
- (Power) Trippin’. Related to wrath, sometimes deans have the capacity to wield power over staff because faculty sometimes hit back. If you need to remind staff that you’re in charge by putting them in their place, you are fostering low morale, assuring that people are actively looking to leave, and assuring that productivity will crash.
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- Arbitrary and Capricious. The deadly sin here is unpredictability. Cloaked in the shadow of secrecy and perhaps with a little avarice, the goal here is for the dean to have unfettered discretion. If you find yourself making a lot of one-time exceptions for some faculty while holding up a brick wall to the rest, you fall into this category. The faculty will find out.
- You should be as Linus is in the pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin. Nothing but sincerity everywhere! Even if you are wrong, a sincerely held belief regarding the common good of the law school will carry you far. However, if faculty members suspect that you aren’t leading them to the Great Pumpkin but rather the Great Doom, you’ll soon be out on your pumpkin.
Deans, you’re welcome in advance.
LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here and on Twitter (@lawprofblawg). Email him at [email protected].