Tort Reform

Top 10 Frivolous Lawsuits List Is... Frivolous, But Funny

The top frivolous suits of the year may be a dumb list, but some of these cases are pretty funny.

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6. Colorado Inmate is Suing the NFL for $88 Billion Over the 2015 Cowboy’s Playoff Loss

Did Dez catch it? That’s what this suit asks.

The fact that Terry Hendrix is incarcerated in a Colorado correctional facility apparently hasn’t dampened his enthusiasm for the Dallas Cowboys. It also hasn’t prevented him from filing an $88 billion lawsuit against National Football League officials for an overturned call in the Cowboy’s recent playoff loss to the Green Bay Packers.

That’s right — he’s seeking $88,987,654,321.88 from the NFL over a play in which Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant made a seemingly spectacular one-handed catch that was ruled an incompletion after further review by the officials.

In prison, eh? That’s a good place for a Cowboys fan.

Look, this is the dark side of letting inmates use their free time to file suits. Still, it’s not like motions to dismiss don’t exist. The case lasted all of a month.

7. Florida Woman is Suing FedEx for Tripping Over a Package Left at Her Doorstep

Let’s be clear, I’m not saying there aren’t frivolous lawsuits all the time. I’m just saying it’s disingenuous to pretend they’re the norm. Like, who is really going to trip over a FedEx package and sue? Well, this woman did, and FedEx rapidly settled.

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8. An Officer in North Carolina is Suing Starbucks for $750,000 Over Hot Coffee

Hot coffee suits are the Meryl Streep of year-end frivolous lawsuit lists.

A North Carolina jury has tossed a lawsuit brought against Starbucks by a Raleigh cop who spilled hot coffee in his lap three years ago.

If that story sounds somewhat familiar to you, it should. A similar “hot coffee” lawsuit against McDonald’s back in 1994 became a poster child for ridiculous litigation.

In that infamous ridiculous lawsuit, the jury awarded the plaintiff an astonishing $3 million in damages after she spilled a cup of McDonalds’ coffee in her lap, though the parties later settled for a reduced, undisclosed amount.

These folks still have a hard-on for that McDonald’s suit. Didn’t we all move on from that trope when we learned that the coffee was handed over at near boiling temperature and caused third degree burns and extensive surgeries? But restaurants refuse to make coffee any cooler for reasons that boggle the f**king mind since they spend way more on improved packaging than just keeping their coffee at a temperature fit for human consumption.

The Institute bemoans the fact that Starbucks has to go to trial in this case, but they’re only going to trial because they couldn’t get the case dismissed as frivolous.

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9. Missouri Woman is Claiming Injury From a Flying Dinner Roll

Why would you ever go to a restaurant that throws things at you? This woman did and got hit and is apparently unfamiliar with the concept of “assumption of risk.”

10. California Woman Allegedly Fakes Coffee Burns and Then Sues McDonald’s

Now we have hot coffee and fraud! They hit the Exacta!

Selena Edwards of Victorville, CA claimed that hot McDonald’s coffee spilled on her right hand, resulting in second-degree burns.

However, after an investigation by state insurance officials, it was discovered that “the photos and medical documents Edwards provided to bolster her case came from the Internet.”

Edwards now faces “21 felony counts of insurance fraud and workers’ compensation fraud.”

Now if we can just catch that damn monkey who took those coffee pictures we’ll be all set.

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