Crime

Armed Robbery Reveals How Bad Subway Sandwiches Truly Are

Before the infamous Jared entered his guilty plea, a Chicago man uncovered the other big problem with Subway.

By  
on

Subway Turkey SandwichA restaurant can be excused for falling on hard times after employing a guy who liked sex with minors and kiddie porn almost as much as the 6 inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki. But before the infamous Jared entered his guilty plea, a Chicago man uncovered the other big problem with Subway after robbing the store at knifepoint: the sandwiches aren’t really very good.

The Copyranter recounts this episode in his rundown of real-life events that are even better than scripted advertising:

Lastly, in Chicago last April, one Fredrick Warren robbed a Subway at knifepoint and then strolled across the street to buy a far-superior Potbelly sandwich. He was arrested there before he could even finish his delicious meal.

There are dozens of Potbelly’s in Chicago. Maybe try one a couple streets over next time. When they say criminals always return to the scene of the crime, that doesn’t mean you have to stay on the same block until the cops get there.

Potbelly should have paid Warren’s bail and legal fees, and then made him their national spokesman. Shit, I could have written 10 hilarious spots for them in a day.

I don’t know, man. Would a sandwich chain really want a convicted criminal as a national spokesperson?

Copyranter: Real-life ads are the best ads [Digiday]

Sponsored

Topics

, , ,