What's Possible: 3 Tips For Building Professional Relationships
Even in a world of dashboard-based outside counsel relationships, the legal business will always be driven by personal connections -- so here's how to develop stronger connections with your own clients and colleagues.
Kevin Colangelo
Ed. note: This installment of David Perla’s column, What’s Possible, is by Kevin Colangelo, a colleague of David Perla at Bloomberg Law.
A good friend recently reminded me that we’re on our third company together. I couldn’t help smirking as I reminded him of the less-than-promising start to our relationship some 15 years ago. At the time we were practicing lawyers negotiating a website development agreement, and in my friend’s telling he approached our initial meeting ready to battle with “that aggressive New York lawyer” on the other side of the deal. My adversary that day was David Perla, then VP of Business & Legal Affairs at Monster.com. Our first meeting consisted of a clause-by-clause slog through the agreement. Pleasantries were barely exchanged. Mutual friends were not discussed. Self-deprecating jokes were off the table.
Law Firm Business Development Is More Than Relationship Building
Today, David is the President of Bloomberg Law and Bloomberg BNA’s Legal Division, the regular author of this column, and one of the closest members of my professional network. (I am currently Vice President, Head of Strategic Accounts at Bloomberg Law.) Which raises the question: how did we go from that chilly start to building and maintaining such a rewarding relationship? One that has taken us from shoestring budgets and fleabag hotels to our current positions at Bloomberg Law, where we are fortunate enough to rub elbows with the some of the most revered figures in the legal profession?
Given how unlikely any fruitful relationship between David and me looked 15 years ago, the answers to these questions make a fine subject matter for a column with the theme of “What’s Possible.” We often think first of technology when talking about possibilities for the future, but even in a world of dashboard-based outside counsel relationships, the legal business will always be driven by personal connections. And I believe that the reasons David and I were able to create a solid relationship can serve as powerful tools for lawyers in developing stronger connections with their own clients and colleagues. So here they are:
First, we listen to each other. At least two different listening skills can help forge positive relationships: (1) active listening, in which the listener closely observes the speaker (including their body language), occasionally repeating what they’ve heard in order to verify their understanding; and (2) empathetic listening, in which the listener takes a non-judgmental stance and attempts to read the speaker’s emotions along with his or her words. These are both learned skills, and while many lawyers are more accustomed to listening for weaknesses in a speaker’s message, I expect that all understand the value of listening and are open to making the effort.
Second, and more challenging, is the ability to create “professional intimacy” with others. This isn’t about sharing details of your personal life. Instead, I’m referring to a willingness to let your guard down, and demonstrate some degree of vulnerability, with a professional contact. Doing so doesn’t require (and should never involve) compromising one’s business or legal positions. Even so, creating an atmosphere of professional intimacy can go against the grain of lawyers, most of who are innately on their guard. Those who are comfortable enough to reveal a glimpse of their humanity, however, will see the gesture returned. More importantly, they will see a dramatic change in their ability to create and sustain relationships
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Third and finally, we know ourselves. That is, we understand what talents we bring to the table and appreciate the talents we need from others. This kind of understanding is another toolbox item that lawyers are usually not given in their professional education, yet can be invaluable in creating strong relationships. The paths to self-understanding are many, but a great starting point here is Malcolm Gladwell’s archetypes of mavens, connectors, and salespeople. In The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference (affiliate link), Gladwell describes mavens as being focused on information and ideas, connectors as being focused on other people, and salespeople as being focused on persuasion. Each of these types has a different strength, and each type can benefit from the strengths of the others. For instance, I’m primarily a salesperson. That’s a vital business skill, but ultimately salespeople need idea-driven products and services to sell. Thus David, as a maven, complements my skillset.
Historically, lawyers have not been trained to think strategically about their own careers. And yet, simply keeping in mind one’s talents and how they align with the needs of others can help one identify potentially beneficial relationships. That alone can make all the difference—or quite a lot of it. If David and I hadn’t been thinking about how to leverage our respective talents, we might have never had a follow-up to our clash over that website development agreement. Fifteen years and three companies later, we’re both glad we focused instead on what was possible for our unlikely relationship.
Kevin Colangelo is Vice President, Strategic Accounts of Bloomberg Law. He works with some of the world’s largest law firms on strategies to grow revenue and control costs through the deployment of Bloomberg BNA’s flagship Bloomberg Law solution. You can reach Kevin at [email protected] and follow him on Twitter at @Colangelolaw.
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