Biglaw

Does This Memo (A) Burn Every Bridge Or (B) Burn Most Of The Bridges?

The multiple choice memo that makes every co-worker want to beat you with a club.

Dear all,

After _____[1]_____, it is time to say goodbye to K&E. I am leaving to _____[2]_____. I have _____[3]_____my time here and I will _____[4]_____. I look forward to _____[5]_____and will _____[6]_____.

[1]
a. recovering from amnesia and realizing that I never went to law school
b. a wonderful two months
c. thoughtful consideration over eight glasses of wine at lunch
d. laundering millions of dollars via your servers

[2]
a. pursue my dream of being crowned champion of the nineteenth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race
b. join the Trump/Pence 2016 campaign
c. [intentionally omitted]
d. judge the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest

[3]
a. from start-to-finish thoroughly enjoyed
b. delivery delayed literally thousands of emails during
c. somehow survived
d. developed a drinking problem as a result of

[4]
a. make sure to avoid 555 California Street for the rest of my life
b. remember my time here fondly
c. steal as many office supplies as I can fit in my man purse
d. miss all of you I’ve come to know

[5]
a. (re-) starting my new (old) job
b. leaving the office today
c. never using Carpe Diem again
d. moving to New York City for its relatively more affordable housing

[6]
a. definitely call you if I screw up and require legal representation
b. crash the next open bar event
c. be leaving behind a pile of glitter in my office
d. keep in touch

Seriously guys, it’s been great – thank you so much for being so welcoming and kind!

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