When you live in a small(er) city or town, it seems unimaginable to people that you may share the name of other individuals who reside or own businesses in that same city or town. They tend to be even more incredulous if that person is also a prominent professional. I happen to share my name with a local car dealer.[1] Let’s call that car dealer Atticus P. Lynch.
This has, on more than one occasion, led to considerable confusion. Frequently, when I am introduced to people who don’t know him, they are confused that I am not him. Often, when I am introduced to people who do know him, they inquire whether we are brothers. Prompting me to internally comment, “yes, because the likelihood that parents exercise the same child-naming practices as George Foreman exceeds the likelihood that we share a relatively common last name and our parents provided us the same first name.” It has also has thrown me on occasion into an existential crisis when I hear radio commercials. I once responded angrily to the radio, upon hearing Atticus P. introduce himself, “I’m Atticus Lynch…”, “NO YOU’RE NOT, I AM!!!!!!” Okay, it’s been more than once, but dude I’m Atticus Lynch. My most entertaining interaction has come with, and I do not mean to stereotype, elderly individuals perplexed by the coincidence. Here is a composite of those conversations:
Me: Hi, this is Atticus.
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Elderly Caller: Atticus Lynch?
Me: Yes.
Elderly Caller: The real one?
Me: As far as I know.
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Elderly Caller: You’re a hard person to get on the phone.
Me: I try to be available.
Elderly Caller: Well, I’ve called three different numbers.
Me: Oh, yea? I’m sorry for that, what other numbers did you try?
Elderly Caller: The one that was on the TV.
Me: (Becoming confused) The TV?
Elderly Caller: Yes, on your commercials!
Me: (Confused) I’m not sure which commercials you’re talking about.
Elderly Caller: Well, I’ve got you on the phone now. I want to talk to you about the lemon that you sold me.
Me: (Full on WTF territory) lemon?
Elderly Caller: The Honda Civic!!!
Me: (Becoming less confused, now wondering how the hell this person made it through the receptionist without understanding s/he was not calling a car dealership) Ma’am/Sir I did not sell you a car, you have the wrong Atticus Lynch.
Elderly Caller: You don’t sell cars?
Me: (Now wondering if this is the type of person who calls Pizza Hut and asks to talk to Mr. Hut) I do not. That’s the other Atticus Lynch.
Elderly Caller: Are you sure?
Me: (Beginning to understand why they put the directions on the shampoo bottle) pretty positive. This is a lawyer’s office.
Elderly Caller: Oh, do you want to sue the car dealer for me?
To this day, I have never met Atticus P. There’s a large part of me that wants to, but there’s also the occasional amusement living in the mystery created by his existence on TV, on radio, and in these strange conversations with people who call my office.
[1] As I have previously discussed, my name is not actually Atticus T. Lynch. It occurs to me, in writing this column today, that confusion over people sharing the name “Atticus Lynch” in a small(er) city or town would be more understandable. In reality, my name is far more common than Atticus Lynch. I mean it’s not John Smith, but it’s also not Atticus Lynch.
Atticus T. Lynch, Esq. is an attorney in Any Town, Any State, U.S.A. He did not attend a top ten law school. He’s a litigator who’d like to focus on Employment and Municipal Litigation, but the vicissitudes of business cause him to “focus” on anything that comes in the door. He can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter