Small Law Firms

The Cast Of Characters You Meet Working With State Review Boards

I love that conceptually due process and fair play are such a part of what it fundamentally means to be American that we feel safe exporting them from Article III to our local boards and state agencies.

By  
on

Walking along cast charactersI love process. I love committees and Boards. I love that conceptually due process and fair play are such a part of what it fundamentally means to be American that we feel safe exporting them from Article III to our local boards and state agencies. I love that we feel so comfortable in these concepts and our institutions to navigate the difficulties of human difference and complexity that we trust people with no legal training or specific knowledge to be charged with upholding them. That last sentence may sound sarcastic. It’s not. I love all these things in concept. It’s just that in execution they tend to be a little messy.  Because, ya know, people.

For anyone that has done State-level administrative law, particularly adjudicatory disciplinary hearings in front of professional licensing boards, one quickly learns that despite a few minor variations they — by the striking anthropological norms of humans in groups — behave as very similar machines comprised of a few similar constituent parts people.  Here they are:

  1. The Board Chair

From my experience[1] the Board Chair tends to be either the most experienced or accomplished member of the Board or in other instances would fit right about the mean average for the composite ages, experience, or accomplishment as the other Board members. For the most part, the Board Chair is quite capable and will act as a voice of reason in conducting the meeting, conforming to the limited set of rules promulgated by the Board or the norms of Robert’s Rules of Order. If there is a fundamental issue with the fairness or competence of a particular board, that deficiency is most likely to be found in the Chair. BEWARE the overly-officious or overly-aggressive chair! If I were to cast the ideal Board Chair, I’d go with Morgan Freeman or Emma Thompson.[2]

  1. The Public Member

This can go one of two directions, either a) they are the most intelligent and capable individual on the Board and their presence on the Board imbues it with stability and common-sense reasonability; or b) they have an indomitable hatred of the profession that they are regulating and their presence on the Board creates constant awkwardness for the professional members on it. For casting purposes, option a: Kathy Bates (not the Kathy Bates from Misery, though) or b: Sam Elliott.

  1. The older one whose eyes are closed who may be asleep… who’s probably asleep… yup, they’re asleep.

Sponsored

Self-explanatory. It is bad if this individual is also the Chair. Casting call? So totally obviously, Wilford Brimley or Ellen Rose Albertini Dow (R.I.P. you probably know her as the rapping granny in The Wedding Singer).

  1.   The Silent but Deadly One

I have mis-read this individual several times. At first I have misperceived their silence as lack of concern, lack of opinion or lack of knowledge, but it can be quickly and frighteningly clear they lack for nothing as they skewer your client at the last moment. I’d cast Angela Bassett or Anthony Hopkins (not Silence of the Lambs Anthony Hopkins, I do not mean literally deadly). Sometimes silence, however, is just silence and they indeed have no idea what the hell is going on.

  1. The Overly Fastidious Hard-Ass

Frequently this is the least experienced and least capable professional member of the Board.   Again, see above, it is awful when this person is also the chair.  The best thing that can be said about them is that they have read all of the materials.  Another thing about them is they really wanted to become an attorney.  The worst thing about them is that they think being an attorney is being an attorney on SVU. Casting would go to either Rainn Wilson or Jane Lynch.

Sponsored

[1] I get it, I’m generalizing. I acknowledge that this will not be descriptive of every situation. If you have an alternative example, you have not proven that this column is bereft value. It may be bereft value, but not because of your alternative example, and most certainly not because you have brought that alternative example to my attention. All I am saying is that I have seen these tendencies a few too many times for me to not observe the odd similarities involved therein. Got it?

[2] For illustrative purposes, I’m casting each role. Yes, it’s Oscar season. No, unlike PwC I will not put things in the wrong envelope. That sounds dirty… it’s not. I swear. It’s not.

Atticus T. Lynch, Esq. is an attorney in Any Town, Any State, U.S.A. He did not attend a top ten law school. He’s a litigator who’d like to focus on Employment and Municipal Litigation, but the vicissitudes of business cause him to “focus” on anything that comes in the door. He can be reached at atticustlynch@gmail.com or on Twitter

Topics

, , ,