Lawyer Advertising

The Texas Law Hawk's Late-Night Infomercial Spoof Hits On All Cylinders

As seen on TV....

By  
on

Law HawkHow many times have you gotten back to your apartment (or McMansion) after a late night at the office and turned on your television hoping to catch Mario Batali explain something about f**king parsnips that you’ll remember for approximately thirty minutes, only to have your TV ask you a question? As if your entire workday wasn’t a ceaseless parade of questions. From clients, partners, associates, opposing counsel, co-counsel, law professors, government lawyers, that guy who sells you meth. At least sometimes you can triple up with the last three. Why does the TV have to get all in your face with the interrogatories?

This almost always happens at night. There are basically three ads on TV at night, and they all revolve around three questions:

Law Firms: “Have you been injured in an accident?” You’d better believe there are lawyer ads. And late-night cable is the natural habitat of the plaintiffs-firm commercial. Some nondescript white guys are going to stand in front of stacks of case reporters they haven’t opened in 20 years and look reassuring, while actors explain how “after I got my scrotum caught in that Zamboni, I worried about making ends meet, but Schlemiel and Schlimazel got me $7 million!”

Party Lines: “Did you know that hot college girls are in your town on a Saturday night just dying to meet you?” That promise is just the salve you need to get your mind off your bottomless despair over the Bowling Green massacre. Never forget.

Infomercials: “Are you tired…” of some freak occurrence that never happens to anyone with baseline competencies? “Are you tired of struggling to chop vegetables?” No. Not at all, actually. But we’re going to watch some poor buffoon attack a carrot with a hatchet and nearly open an artery like he’s one of the Stooges. Honestly, the best part of infomercials are the actor recreations of someone unable to get anything right.

The Texas Law Hawk, Above the Law’s 2015 Lawyer of the Year, decided to pay homage to the infomercial in his latest ad, complete with fuzzy 80s camera work. We’ve come to expect great work out of the Law Hawk and this is no exception.

He’s truly making lawyer advertising great again.

Sponsored

HeadshotJoe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.

Sponsored

Topics

, , , , , , ,