
A much, much smaller rabbit.
Dr. David Dao should count his blessings that his reaccommodation ended with an undisclosed settlement. When Simon took a United Airlines flight from London to Chicago, he ended up dead.
And worse? The movie was Assassin’s Creed.
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We don’t exactly know what happened to Simon, a 3 and 1/2 foot long rabbit trying, to the extent any entity tries such a thing, to become the biggest rabbit in the world. That’s a record currently held by Simon’s father Darius –named after either the famed Achaemenid Emperor or Hootie and the Blowfish — who managed to grow to a robust 4 feet 4 inches. Simon’s quest to top that was cut cruelly short on April 20, and a lawyer for the Iowans who bought Simon want to know why.
Guy Cook of Grefe & Sidney in Des Moines claims he wrote the airline on May 4, but hasn’t received a reply. Good luck with that. United lost my luggage on both legs of a flight and refused to even send an auto-response acknowledging that they got my complaint. They also, you know, just beat the hell out of a guy on video and didn’t respond until it dominated the national news for a week, which is probably a better example. In any event, Cook held a press conference this week laying out a potential legal action over Simon’s death.
United Airlines hasn’t explained why a giant rabbit died after being flown from London to Chicago or why it had the animal cremated within hours of his death, a lawyer for the rabbit’s buyers said Monday, announcing possible legal action.
Des Moines lawyer Guy Cook, representing an Iowa group that bought the continental giant rabbit named Simon, said his clients want details about Simon’s death and an explanation of why he was cremated before a post-mortem examination could be conducted.

Closer to accurate picture.
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There’s spoliation and then there’s incinerating the victim!
The latest wrinkle to this already messed-up fact pattern are allegations that Simon actually made it to Chicago safely, and then was locked in a freezer by airline employees. So… I can understand how a tiny animal could sneak into the freezer and get unintentionally doomed, but how does anyone misplace a ROUS (rabbit of unusual size) like this?
Speaking of weird wrinkles, this whole affair would actually make a great issue-spotter:
United spokesman Charles Hobart said the company had reached “a satisfactory resolution” with the rabbit’s breeder, Annette Edwards, in Worcestershire in the United Kingdom. Asked about the letter from the animal’s buyers, the cremation or other issues, he said only that Edwards was United’s customer and that she had turned down an offer of a post-mortem examination. He declined to answer other questions.
Buyer and seller execute a contract for the sale of personal property.[1] The seller, domiciled in the United Kingdom, contracts with United to to deliver the rabbit to Kansas City, Missouri, where the Iowan owners would take possession of the rabbit — who was expected to have a healthy stream of future earnings as the world’s biggest rabbit.[2] But instead it was found dead in Chicago. The carrier burns the evidence claiming the seller gave them that permission. Add in that United’s parent company UAL is a Delaware corporation with its corporate headquarters in the eighth circle of hell. Identify all claims, defenses, and arguments.
Lawyer to United: ‘This case is about more than one rabbit’ [Houston Chronicle]
Attorneys: Giant rabbit may have died while locked in freezer after United flight [USA Today]
[1] Animal rights lawyers can go ahead and shut up now.
[2] Presumably? There must be a market for that among the most depressed sideshows in America.
Joe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.