Morning Docket: 05.18.17

* IBM says Watson's about to take away your job, which is an announcement IBM makes roughly every three months because they're taunting us. [Corporate Counsel] * Betty Shelby acquitted in the killing of a black motorist because apparently it's always reasonable to believe a random black guy is going to pull a gun. [NBC News] * Former client seeks $1.4 million back that it spent trying to disqualify BakerHostetler. [Law360] * Latham's Alice Fisher has pulled out of the FBI Director sweepstakes. All eyes are on Joe Lieberman right now, but folks G. Gordon Liddy is just sitting there raring to go. [National Law Journal] * And apparently Sheriff Clarke (who I'm sure was Trump's personal pick) is taking a Homeland Security job so he can focus on harassing the poor and disadvantaged without having to bother all those nice bankers. [New York Times] * Judge Charles Breyer took a break from writing the best benchslaps of all time to issue a groundbreaking video game ruling citing Star Wars and Love Actually -- two movies that should never, ever be mentioned in the same sentence. [Hollywood Reporter] * Stupid fan lawsuit against Warriors center ZaZa Pachulia moves on. [KENS5] * More horrific allegations from Ken Starr's world-class leadership at Baylor. [Huffington Post]