Biglaw, Trademarks

The Perfect Card To Say, 'I Had Intercourse With Your Wife Last Night'

CEO hurls vulgarities in outrageous deposition.

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"I'm sorry, you want to do what?"

“I’m sorry, you want to do what?”

Hallmark, purveyors of superficial sentiment and contrived holidays since 1910, is locked in a trademark dispute with Dickens Inc. over a number of Hallmark cards the latter sold, which Hallmark claims Dickens illegally acquired from an abandoned facility. That sounds like a lot of trouble to go to over some cartoons and warmed-over wit and wisdom, but an infinite profit margin is worth it even at a couple bucks a pop.

Anyway, Hallmark’s attorneys from Fox Rothschild — specifically George Krueger and Alexandra Sobol — recently conducted a deposition of Dickens CEO James Chou, and it’s safe to say he’s not in the business of writing the tender thoughts in your next anniversary card:

[Hallmark’s chairman] is “an asshole,’ a-s-s-h-o-l-e.” See Deposition Transcript of James Chou, annexed hereto as Exhibit (“Ex.”) A, at 240:8-9.1
 To Mr. Krueger: “I have a license to fuck your wife.” Ex. A at 241:23-24.
 To Mr. Krueger: “I had intercourse with your wife last night.” Id. at 247:19-20.

If this sounds like a deposition off the rails, well, don’t worry, there’s more! By the way, if you want to see these gems in context, we’ve attached Exhibit A.

To Mr. Krueger: “When I think – I think of your words, I want to pee. . . I want to even shit. I will take a shit in your face.” Id. at 248:24-25; 249:2-7.

Excuse me, what? This deserves some further analysis. The last sentence, devoid of context, is the sort of hyperaggressive threat you might expect from a David Mamet outtake. Referring to defiling someone’s body is a well-worn quip, and that’s certainly what Chou’s trying to do here. But considered in the context of the rest of the answer, it sounds less threatening and more like Chou has chronic incontinence issues.

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I guess they should have taken more breaks that day.

 To Mr. Krueger and referring to Ms. Sobol: “This beautiful lady, do you have regular relationship with her?” Id. at 247:23-24.
***
 To Mr. Krueger: “For you, yes, you are a dog. You are a bulldog. You are a vicious dog. You’re a nasty dog. But as for Allie [Ms. Sobol], okay, I do not mind if she bite me.” Id. at 310:5-16.

Because what’s vulgarity without a little gross sexual harassment stirred into the mix? What a dirtbag.

One might wonder where Chou’s lawyer was in all of this. Well, as Law360 describes it, quoting from the motion:

The lawyers said that rather than rein in his client, Chou’s attorney, Mitchell A. Stein of Stein Law PC, enabled the behavior and has allowed him to essentially run his own case. “Mr. Chou skirts dangerously close to practicing law without a license, conduct which Mr. Stein facilitates and defends over Hallmark’s repeated objection,” the motion said.

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In fairness to Stein, he’d probably love to control his client’s worst impulses and just can’t do it, and even though that doesn’t excuse him of his obligation (and he should be cognizant of his obligations) to keep trying — both for the judicial process and his client’s own good — that’s an awful position to be in.

Maybe we should send him a sympathy card?

(For those who need to see something like this to believe it, the excerpted transcript attached to the Hallmark motion is available on the next page…)

Photo via Getty Images.

Fox Rothschild Attys Say Exec Called Them Dogs In Depo [Law360]

HeadshotJoe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.

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