Yes, poor white people will make money from the eclipse. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
There’s a total solar eclipse visible in American today, don’t ya know. Right now, probably. Why are you even reading this? Look up [not legal advice].
Brooklyn Law School Professor Alice Ristroph wrote one of those articles in the Atlantic this weekend about the eclipse. You know, one of those pieces that sounds really deep and totally woke until you think about it for more that 90 seconds. Title: “American Blackout: A tour of the solar eclipse’s path reveals a nation that fought to maintain a different sort of totality.”
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Sigh.
I mean, I get it. By a quirk entirely standard application of science and physics, a total eclipse will be seen today in a racist country, selectively passing over some of its most racist parts. MIND BLOWN.
The premise of the article is to look at the racial history of the places along the path of totality because…. well, I have no idea. “The moon is blotting out the Sun on predominately white towns for two minutes, how racist are those towns?” — asked no one. These things are visible somewhere on the surface of the Earth about once every 18 months. A total eclipse is only a “once in a lifetime” event if you don’t have frequent flyer miles.
I mean, check out this passage from the article:
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“The shadow of the moon doesn’t care where it falls or who lives below. And in certain respects, the federal government designed in our Constitution doesn’t care where people live, either. We need the census tallies to determine how many representatives each state sends to the House, but the census is irrelevant to the Senate: Each state gets two senators, whatever its population.”
F**k you. Honestly. That passage has the connective tissue of a high school book report. “Hazel and Fiver make a good team, which shows the importance of not completely severing church from state.”
Today’s solar eclipse is not passing through heavily populated areas. The end.
Nobody needs to attach SIGNIFICANCE to eclipses. THAT’S WHAT THE ANCIENT PEOPLE DID, and they were dumb. It’s science. It’s physics. If anything, it’s an opportunity to marvel at how utterly insignificant we are in the grand cosmic dance, not take a “deep dive” into our own insignificant history.
If you are going to write a billion words about the history of something along the path of totality, give me something based in SCIENCE. More NASA channel, less History channel. For instance, did you know that we are the only planet in the solar system that even gets total solar eclipses? Our moon (largest relative to its planet’s size in the solar system) is the perfect size and distance to cover the Sun at our distance from our star. For all we know, we’re the only planet anywhere in the galaxy that gets to see these things. Maybe lets focus on that as opposed to the monochrome history of Wyoming?
And besides, the next total solar eclipse visible in America is April 8, 2024, and the path of totality is going to hit much more populated areas, streaking from Dallas to Buffalo.
Minorities will get their chance to see it, just a few years later than all the white people. Even if you think the solar system might be racist, at least it’s not a Nazi.
American Blackout [The Atlantic]
Elie Mystal is an editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.