Supreme Court

Elsewhere In America: We’re About To Go To The Mattresses Over Cake

Waiting on nine un-elected old people decide the fate of America.

Supreme Court oral argument in Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado is scheduled for Tuesday.

If you don’t know what Masterpiece Cakeshop is all about… like, honestly, get the hell off of this site. Floribama Shore misses you.

Those still here won’t be surprised to learn that the line to get into the Court for oral arguments has ALREADY STARTED FORMING.

We reached out to Mike Sacks, nee First One @ One First, about what it’s like to wait in line to watch nine un-elected old people decide the fate of America? He said:

Waiting out in line in the cold is awful, but one of the things that eases the agony is the camaraderie among those suffering together. Heated law nerd discussions keep you warm out there, and build up enough goodwill that your neighbors will commit to keeping your spot in line when you have to find a tree, a bush, or – worse – a Union Station bathroom to relieve yourself at 2am.

Good luck, people. Since there are no cameras in the Court, we’ll be relying on you to tell us how things are going in real time.


Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.