Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 03.15.18

Hey, I'm doing Morning Docket. Good morning, everybody. How are you all doing? So... what's going on this morning? * A judge ruled that revealing the names of Powerball winners would be an invasion of privacy, frustrating the plans of second cousins everywhere. [ABA Journal] * The SEC is charging Theranos exec, Elizabeth Holmes, with fraud. I... don't really know who she is or what her company did. I know I'm supposed to know. I could Google it, I guess. [Washington Post] * Australia is considering fast-tracking visas for white South Africans. That's right folks, Australia would like to now lecture the world about the evils of stealing land from indigenous peoples. [The Guardian] * Jeff Sessions is going to ax the retiring Andrew McCabe before he can get his pension. Then I expect he'll cackle and say something like, "Or am I being obtuse." [NBC News] * I'm just going to, uhh, leave this right here in the "suggestions box." [The Onion] * You realize that if Merrick Garland had been confirmed, there would be a flourishing conspiracy theory industry surrounding Antonin Scalia's death, only they'd be saying he was murdered by George Soros. Tony Mauro has a good piece on new documents released about the day of Scalia's death. [National Law Journal] * I found myself re-reading Federalist No. 10 and just marveling at how James Madison really thought this whole stupid country was going to somehow work out. "The influence of factious leaders may kindle a flame within their particular States, but will be unable to spread a general conflagration through the other States." Wrong, James. You're freaking wrong. Fight me in real life, you wrong, slaveholding, jerkface. [Federalist No. 10] Ed. note: this was written at 5 p.m. last night. Who the hell is awake at this hour of the morning?

By Elie Mystal on March 15, 2018 9:00 am

Hey, I’m doing Morning Docket. Good morning, everybody. How are you all doing? So… what’s going on this morning?

* A judge ruled that revealing the names of Powerball winners would be an invasion of privacy, frustrating the plans of second cousins everywhere. [ABA Journal]

* The SEC is charging Theranos exec, Elizabeth Holmes, with fraud. I… don’t really know who she is or what her company did. I know I’m supposed to know. I could Google it, I guess. [Washington Post]

* Australia is considering fast-tracking visas for white South Africans. That’s right folks, Australia would like to now lecture the world about the evils of stealing land from indigenous peoples. [The Guardian]

* Jeff Sessions is going to ax the retiring Andrew McCabe before he can get his pension. Then I expect he’ll cackle and say something like, “Or am I being obtuse.” [NBC News]

* I’m just going to, uhh, leave this right here in the “suggestions box.” [The Onion]

* You realize that if Merrick Garland had been confirmed, there would be a flourishing conspiracy theory industry surrounding Antonin Scalia’s death, only they’d be saying he was murdered by George Soros. Tony Mauro has a good piece on new documents released about the day of Scalia’s death. [National Law Journal]

* I found myself re-reading Federalist No. 10 and just marveling at how James Madison really thought this whole stupid country was going to somehow work out. “The influence of factious leaders may kindle a flame within their particular States, but will be unable to spread a general conflagration through the other States.” Wrong, James. You’re freaking wrong. Fight me in real life, you wrong, slaveholding, jerkface. [Federalist No. 10]

Ed. note: this was written at 5 p.m. last night. Who the hell is awake at this hour of the morning?

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.