If nothing else, Michael Cohen has made himself an embarrassment to the legal profession. His “practice” of law is frowned upon in this establishment.
But what if it wasn’t? What if Michael Cohen’s schtick was a normal and acceptable form of providing legal services? In that alternate universe, his website would probably look something like this:

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Hells yeah. Let’s check out the “about” page:
Remember kids, Michael Cohen’s actual story is that he made hush payments to silence women without his client’s knowledge. That’s not how any of this works.

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Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.