Small Law Firms

Lawyer Brought Into Stupid Duckling Massacre Effort

Condo board brings in lawyer to bully residents. It just makes them look bad.

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Generally speaking, ducklings are cute and shouldn’t be senselessly slaughtered. Full grown ducks, on the other hand, are cute and shouldn’t be slaughtered unless orange sauce is involved. In any event, this is the story of a flock of ducklings and the lawyer who would see them slaughtered before her and hear the lamentations of their hens.

Last month, several residents of Fairlington Glen in Arlington, Virginia noticed seven ducklings trapped in the community pool. Channeling their inner Tony Soprano, these residents brought the attention to any and every authority figure they could imagine who collectively shrugged and wondered what a duck would sound like if it got sucked into a skimmer.

Undeterred, the residents summoned their outer Tony Soprano and broke into the pool to rescue the stranded creatures and complete the story arc for a coming-soon-to-you Pixar blockbuster.

And that’s when lawyers got involved and tried to ruin everything. Rees Broome associate Kristen Buck wrote the residents who saved the ducks seeking $100 — EACH — to replace a lock (retail value of a padlock is about $10) that the condo board claims got damaged during the rescue. According to Buck’s letter:

Such a good faith payment may influence whether the Board decides to press charges or take other action.

Really? Give us money and we might not ask for more? This is just petty bullying. Charge them the price of a lock — assuming the lock was even damaged, which is in dispute — and move on. Part of lawyering is counseling unreasonable clients, like Kim Jong Fairlington here, that they can’t abuse the law to bully people.

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Honestly, this would be a serious contender for dumbest attorney move of the month if it weren’t for a certain law grad tossing around empty Craigslist threats.

The battle is still on, though Trista Nealon, a longtime Fairlington resident who helped save the ducks, may have the upper hand. After posting her plight on the condo’s community board, she’s received over 125 likes according to ARLNow.

Because ducks fly together.

Duckling Rescue Effort at Fairlington Pool Sparks Neighborhood Dispute

Earlier: Idiot Biglaw Law Clerk Tries To Pick A Fight Over The Finer Points Of Contract Law Governing A Used West Elm Dresser

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