Here, let’s use this picture instead.
Hughes Hubbard partner Steven Hammond is due in court today, but not on behalf of one of his top-shelf complex litigation clients, but to answer a public lewdness charge that he allegedly masturbated in the steam room at the Wall Street Equinox gym while staring at a health club employee.
The employee claims Hammond leered at him while working the little litigator. Hammond calls the accusation “a complete fabrication” according to the NY Post.
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The employee called the cops, which makes sense if you thought a dude was trying to masturbate in public, but here’s the rub: the cops nabbed Hammond at 4:30 a.m. That seems like a dick move. Not to downplay public lewdness but non-violent crimes can wait until the morning. Hammond’s effort to clear his name and prove he wasn’t “scolding the junior associate” in public begins in earnest today.
Personally, I don’t see the purpose of a steam room. It seems like a way to pretend you’re working out while actually sitting down. The whole thing is an exercise in poserism drenched in oppressively muggy conditions. It’s basically “Florida: The Ride.” If it’s also just an old man jack off chamber that… only makes it more like Florida.
Lawyer accused of masturbating in gym while staring at employee [NY Post]
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.