Biglaw

The Cryptkeeper Talks Biglaw Firm Names

It's time to change the letterhead, people.

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The Cryptkeeper in courtroom attire via YouTube screenshot

Good afternoon guys and GHOULS! It’s that time of fear where we put on our homage to the old Tales from the Crypt host’s penchant for groan-inducing scary puns. This started as a tribute to the Simpsons Treehouse of Horror credits but also owes a debt to the great work over at Deadspin of turning the corpse of former Oakland boss Al Davis into a Cryptkeeper spoof. If you have even a passing interest in the NFL and aren’t reading that, then you need to reassess your priorities.

So here we go with a list of Biglaw firm names for your Halloween pleasure:

EERIE Gottlieb
Morgan Lewis & BOOckius
Boies CHILLER & Flexner
ACHE n’ Gump
Cahill GOREdon
PUMPKINS Coie
LATHEem & Watkins
SCAREDen Arps
Selendy & Gay — It’s only scary if you’re John Quinn.
SKULLivan & Cromwell
KILLand & Ellis
FLESHfields
FRIED Frank — Got to go with the different pronunciation!
White & CACKLE
Ropes & GRAVE
McDermott KILL & EERIE
Slaughter & May — OK, that one was easy.
BOOley LLP
HUNT EM’ & KILLiams
Double Double Munger TOILS and Trouble — Some literary work there.
Gibson DONE
DebBOOvoise & IMPton
King & Wood MALEVOLENTsons
TRICK OR TREATman & Sanders
Schulte GOTH & Zabel
GRIMberg Traurig
ClifFIEND Chance
WilmerWAIL
BLEED Smith
Jones Day — Scary enough.

All right this list can go on forever. Let’s get back to work.

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