Biglaw Firm Gathers Associates For 'Major News,' Then Doesn't Announce Bonuses
What were they thinking?
This summer, while the rest of the Biglaw world dutifully raised associate salaries to reflect the cost of living increase of the last two years, Greenberg Traurig bucked the trend and spun a song and dance about the economy that boiled down to “we’re too cheap to pay you.” The firm later tried to pay off a few attorneys, but more or less just ate the black eye it’d given itself functionally admitting — not so much that they couldn’t afford this raise, but that it couldn’t really afford the 2016 raise it already gave associates in its New York and Chicago offices. Because that’s what a firm really means when they don’t offer a cost of living adjustment.
Armed with the knowledge that Greenberg Traurig is absolutely, positively not interested in employee satisfaction if it costs them a penny, associates were appropriately steeled for the bait and switch dropped on them this week.
On Tuesday, associates were called together for an all associates video conference, the sort of drudgery that attorneys go through this time of year because it usually corresponds with a happy bonus announcement. Indeed, the powers-that-be teased the assembled masses on this score with a tantalizing “if you stay around until the end of the presentation, we’ll have some major news to announce.” Well, well, what might that major news be in this first week of December two weeks removed from the start of bonus season?
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The firm will be bringing back associate retreats. If ever there was a one-year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club in Biglaw, this is surely it.
So now we must ask ourselves the classic corporate query: is Greenberg Traurig’s leadership team is evil or stupid? For it would certainly take someone with a heart two sizes too small to explicitly stoke associate excitement knowing that the punchline would not be cash but an all-expense paid trip to spend more time with all the assholes from the office.
And yet, Greenberg Traurig’s chronic failure to get through the day without alienating its employees has to stem from a deeper misunderstanding of their surroundings. Do they not see the bonus talk? Perhaps not, since bonus announcements aren’t flying with their usual rapidity. Still, it is December. Can they be so dense as to not realize that the only things that pass for “major news” for firms this month are bonuses or layoffs?
Evil or stupid? You decide.
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In the meantime, congratulations to Greenberg Traurig associates on their upcoming forced work vacations. Nothing pays down student debt like a weekend of golf.
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.
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