Men's Rights Firm Teases 'Hot New Girlfriend' In Ad Somebody Thought Was Cool

They should call themselves 'The Firm For Fragile Men.'

In concept, I get why a group of male divorce lawyers would call their practice “The Firm For Men.” It’s not the way I would go, but conceptually I think I get it. Divorce is a rough business. There are many attorneys out there offering services. Distinguishing yourself as a firm that really knows what it’s like to “be a man” going through family law issues is… a thing, I guess. I can see how that would appeal to a certain segment of the male clientele. You know, some guys like to look at the porn quietly and shamefully in the privacy of their own bathroom, others like to go to the strip club and make it rain. I see the market opportunity.

It’s the execution of this marketing ploy that makes me feel like all men should maybe be quarantined on some kind of ice flow and only accessed to extract the bare minimum genetic material necessary for the survival of the species. Like, look at this picture of the lawyers:

Your eye is immediately drawn to Broheim in the middle, but I can’t stop looking at this Yon-Rogg mfer on the left. His name is “Mike.” Mike’s bio tells us: “When he is not in the office, you can find Mike on the golf course – ‘his happy place.'” Can’t you see Mike handling Shooter McGavin’s divorce from Thelma? I can.

Maybe I’m over-reading the picture. But the ads, man. The ads are where this little conceit goes astray. Stay to the end of this ad.

That’s the ad with the most subtle title. Other selections include ads titled “Has She Gone Psycho” and “Stop The Gold Diggers Today.”

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The “Psycho” one is where I think we move from “all in good fun” (if we were ever there) to “this is wrong.”

Nothing about those visuals make me comfortable. The statistics on domestic violence in this country are horrifying. The visual is clearly trying to play off of the Psycho movie, but what I see is a potential victim of abuse overlaid with their attacker justifying it by saying “but she was crazy.” Men are victims of domestic abuse too, but this ad doesn’t seem geared towards those men.

And don’t get me started on how “the firm for men” seems to have not considered that gay men might need family law representation as well.

Is there a market for “a firm for men”? Yeah, sadly, probably. But this can’t be the way to advertise it. Fishing in sexist tropes and dancing around the edges of domestic abuse is not the way to attract “men” to your law firm. This messaging is only going to work on grown-up boys who need the constant validation of someone telling them they’re still mommy’s special snowflake.

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Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and a contributor at The Nation. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.