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This is why you went to law school.
An Indiana man who spent 10 months living with his parents in Michigan after a divorce has sued his parents for allegedly destroying his porn collection. He values the collection at $29,000 once you factor in “emotional attachment.”
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It all came to a head after the man moved out and his parents helped him move by delivering a number of personal items but failing to bring his porn collection. When he asked after the missing property, his father admitted to rubbing it out of existence:
“I do not possess your pornography. It is gone,” the email said. “It has been either destroyed or disposed of. I may well have missed a few items that are now in your possession but, at this point, if you don’t have it, it is gone. Ditto for your sex toys and smutty magazines.”
This, by the way, is why you move to the cloud. If lawyers take anything away from this story, it should be that record preservation requires a digital solution.
The man tried to press criminal charges against his parents for destroying his property, but prosecutors declined. Even though he tried to diligently make his case:
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The man later reached out to investigators again, allegedly sending one officer 44 emails listing movies he said his parents had destroyed, many of which he claimed were valuable, difficult-to-get films.
The Criterion Collection really needs to get on that.
Forced into civil litigation, the man is asking for $86,822.16 in damages and fees.
This matter will certainly never reach the Supreme Court, which is a shame because we might actually have an opportunity for Justice Thomas to offer valuable insights at oral argument.
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.