Government

Ted Cruz Trolls Liberals By Getting Terrible Haircut

No more Senator McDreamy. AHEM.

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Stay in school, kids! Study hard, make the right connections, go from the Ivy League to a prestigious SCOTUS clerkship, and one day you too can be a MAGA troll boarding an airplane during mass contagion so you can get a hideous haircut to own the libs.

As a legal matter, Shelley Luther was not “wrongly imprisoned when she refused to apologize for trying to earn a living.” Luther was jailed for contempt of court because she violated both a state closure order and a court-issued restraining order to keep her Dallas salon closed during the coronavirus pandemic. When given a chance to apologize for violating the court’s explicit instruction to keep her salon closed a few days longer, she refused to do it.

“If you would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge that your actions were selfish, putting your own interest ahead of those in the community in which you live,” Dallas Civil District Judge Eric Moyé told Luther during last week’s hearing, he offered to simply fine her and allow her to go home instead of serving a seven-day sentence.

Luther chose to go to jail instead.

“I have to disagree with you sir, when you say that I’m selfish because feeding my kids is not selfish,” Luther said. “I have hairstylists that are going hungry because they’d rather feed their kids. So sir, if you think the law is more important than kids being fed then please go ahead with your decision but I’m not going to shut the salon.”

You pays your money, you takes your chances. Or, in this case, you raise $500,000 of GoFundMe cash, become a right wing celebrity martyr, and get released from jail two days later by the Texas Supreme Court.

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Here’s former Alaska governor Sarah Palin practicing serious social distancing with the salon’s stylists this week.

And so Ted Cruz, fashion icon, literally got on a plane and flew to Dallas to get his hair cut in Luther’s salon in recognition of her brave defiance of state law and court order.

Truly a pair of civil rights icons! Now check out the final product.

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Oh.

Hmm.

Maybe … it was for a good cause?

Yikes! Well, freedom isn’t free, people. As Thomas Jefferson said, the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the hair clippings of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.

U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz Gets a Hair Cut at Dallas’ Salon a la Mode [NBC Dallas]

Elizabeth Dye (@5DollarFeminist) lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.

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