Toobin in the days before Zoom. (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images)
UPDATE: Hey, that shoe you knew was about to drop? It dropped. See below.
You know, 2020 has taken so much from us, that it’s nice to see the year give back now and then.
LexisNexis’ Practical Guidance Is Every Attorney’s Essential Concierge
This tool will — seamlessly and authoritatively — take you from initial research to final draft in just about any practice scenario.
Jeffrey Toobin has long reigned as a preeminent legal analyst for major media because of his proficiency at taking confusing legal issues and explaining them to the public in a way that is simplistic and relatable because it’s also often totally superficial. He’s like one of those USA Today infographics for law — you know, where you can’t quite tell if you’re happy something’s explaining this in a way dumb people can understand or you’re sad that it’s trying to dumb this down so much.
Anyway, he apparently took a break from this work to flash his dick on a Zoom call.
The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin. Sources tell VICE it’s because he exposed himself during a Zoom call last week between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio.
Toobin said in a statement to Motherboard: “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”
“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added.
How AI Is Transforming The Legal Profession (2025)
A survey of professionals reveals the impact of legal work, clients, concerns, and future roles.
OK, we have questions.
So, um, he was taking the call without pants on? Because, look, taking a video call in boxers straight from waking up may not be totally professional but it’s not the worst thing in the world.
On the other hand, if Little Toobin escaped the corral it would merit embarrassment but not really an apology to your wife and family. Which makes you wonder if he was going full “Dicktaur” with a suit on top and nothing on the bottom. Which in turn makes you wonder… why? You’ve got to think that couldn’t be what’s going on and then you remember that this is the “Tiger Woods of Legal Journalism” we’re talking about and he’s no stranger to apologizing to his wife and family, having landed in a New York Times expose for his tangled affair with Casey Greenfield which involved a first-year associate single and pregnant with what people presume was Toobin’s baby. Some guys just can’t be contained.
[UPDATE: When we first wrote this, I think we all suspected what was going on here that required apologizing to the wife and family but we weren’t going to engage in empty speculation. Guess what? It’s no longer empty speculation. The NY Post is now reporting that Toobin was masturbating during the call. As someone who often makes a jerking off motion during conference calls, I’d like to let Toobin know you don’t need to take it so literally.]
We’ve had some nakedness on legal profession Zoom before, with a criminal hearing and a law school lecture but this is definitely the highest profile incident to date and unlikely to be topped — at least until the Supreme Court allows video.
Thank you, 2020. This year has been hard but at least you’ve not been a total dick.
New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Zoom Dick Incident [Vice]
Earlier: Is Jeffrey Toobin the Tiger Woods of Legal Journalism?
The New York Times Spills the Beans on the Casey Greenfield / Jeffrey Toobin Affair
Is This Attorney Naked During A Criminal Hearing?
Zoom Civil Procedure Conversation Interrupted By Naked Man
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.