Law Schools

The Benefits Of Having A Baby As A Baby Lawyer

Having my daughter in law school forced me to learn critical professional skills before starting my career.

By Haley Harlan  
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(Image via Getty)

Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome Haley Harlan to our pages. Click here if you’d like to donate to MothersEsquire.

I sat on my couch, two weeks after my 2L finals had ended, staring at the word “PREGNANT” on my digital test. I was thrilled! After a surgery for endometriosis and the complications that followed, being able to get pregnant felt like a miracle. I was also terrified. I had worked hard in law school to get good grades, to make the Law Review board, and I had been elected as the Student Bar Association president just weeks prior. To add to my stress, I had chosen to work at small firms in law school, and I had no post-graduation job options on the horizon. I had already wondered why I had piled my plate so full, and now I was going to add a baby?!

As the weeks passed, I was filled with a range of emotions. Seeing my daughter’s heartbeat on the ultrasound was one of the happiest days of my life. However, the thought of telling my peers, boss, and professors only added to first-trimester nausea. The advice I had received since I began thinking about entering the profession ran through my head. Having a baby while still in law school was not consistent with “getting established before starting a family.” I could hear the voices of the well-meaning women that told me they planned their pregnancies around their work schedules, how some of their peers were “mommy-tracked,” and how some women “just couldn’t handle it.” As I started 3L, I sat in an employment discrimination class, where I heard the stories of women who were passed over for promotions because of their toddlers, who did not receive pregnancy accommodations, and who had their job offers rescinded because of their pregnancies.

Despite my fears, everyone was thrilled for my growing family. My school’s career center helped me identify jobs that aligned with my goals. At six months pregnant, I accepted a job as a staff attorney for the federal courts. I had my daughter the day my last semester of school started, and when I came back two weeks later, my professors accommodated my need for pumping breaks, and even reassured me I could bring her to class if the need arose. My daughter came with me to my meetings, and my friends took turns holding her while I led discussions. She even made it on my dean’s Instagram in her I Love WashU Law onesie. Now, one and a half years after graduation, I see the benefits that having a child early in my career has given me.

Having my daughter forced me to learn critical professional skills before starting my career. I learned to delegate when she arrived, because for the first time in my life, it was not possible to do it all. As the SBA president, I leaned on the executive board when I took the first month of my daughter’s life off. Much to my surprise, the sky did not fall when I gave up my micromanaging tendencies, and I have not looked back. I also learned how to set boundaries. There were events I could not attend, opportunities I had to pass up, and jobs I had to take off of my list. Instead of justifying myself every time I turned something down, I learned people would understand if I had to say no. I learned to juggle my responsibilities. While still in law school, I figured out that there would be times I had to put work first, and times I had to put family first. When I studied for the bar, I set a schedule that allowed me to see my 4-month-old daughter as much as possible. This meant I studied less than I had planned, and less than many of my peers, but the balance worked for our family.

Having a baby in law school also allowed me to have a lot of flexibility in the early days of motherhood. I was able to arrange my schedule so that I only had night classes and classes over spring break and on weekends. I was able to take time for myself when I went to class, which was invaluable in early motherhood. I also had ample time to bond with my daughter, which was also irreplaceable in early motherhood. Without the stress of a typical maternity leave and then jumping back in to work head first, I had eight months home before starting full-time work. I will always cherish the early days of skin-to-skin snuggles and our summer adventures touring St. Louis.

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It was not always easy to balance being a new mom and a new attorney. I didn’t have the flexibility in my home life or my professional life that I saw some more established mothers have. There were times my childcare fell through, and I felt immense guilt missing days in a job I had just started. I missed out on social opportunities and professional opportunities. Despite the challenges I have had on this path, I am so glad I have spent my entire career as a lawyer also being a mother.

Haley Harlan graduated from Washington University School of Law in 2019 with her four-month-old daughter sleeping in the audience. She started her career as a staff attorney for the federal courts, and now she works as an assistant state’s attorney in the Chicagoland area. When she is not chasing a toddler or preparing for court, she enjoys cooking, reading, and riding her Peloton. You can connect with Haley at haleynharlan@gmail.com or on LinkedIn.

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