Alan Dershowitz Blasted By Larry David At Martha’s Vineyard Grocery Store

If you’re reading this in a location where you’re free to have sound, go ahead and put this on a loop.

Page Six reports that Larry David screamed at Alan Dershowitz outside Martha’s Vineyard’s “picturesque convenience store and community hub Chilmark General Store.” While I’m assuming it’s nicer than my 7-11, is there a more pretentious setting to a story ever than “picturesque convenience store and community hub”?

Dershowitz: “We can still talk, Larry.”

David: “No. No. We really can’t. I saw you. I saw you with your arm around [former Trump Secretary of State Mike] Pompeo! It’s disgusting!”

Dersh: “He’s my former student [at Harvard Law]. I greet all of my former students that way. I can’t greet my former students?”

In fairness to Dershowitz, it is nice that he warmly welcomes his former students. It’s a great quality in a professor. But Dersh is being deliberately obtuse to think Larry’s ire is specifically about hanging around with “Taliban Mike” Pompeo as opposed to the Trump administration generally. You know, that administration that Dershowitz lent his remaining intellectual credibility to prop up for the last four years?

David: “It’s disgusting. Your whole enclave — it’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!”

Added the stunned source, “Larry walks away. Alan takes off his T-shirt to reveal another T-shirt [underneath it] that says, ‘It’s The Constitution Stupid!’.”

He. Took. Off. His. Shirt. Just let it soak in that an emeritus professor of law at Harvard concluded an argument with T-shirt advocacy. A proud day for the institution, no doubt.

But he did keep his underwear on, as is his wont.

“It’s typical of what happens now on the Vineyard,” he added later. “People won’t talk to each other if they don’t agree with their politics.”

This isn’t the first time Dersh has whined about everyone hating him on Martha’s Vineyard. It provides helpful small talk on Fox News to rail against liberals for “taking things too seriously” when it comes to honest political debates like “should Black people be allowed to vote.”

But back to his shirt-based line of argumentation — which I’ve just coined a “Shirtort” — the whole thing only underscores how Dershowitz talking about the Constitution these days is a lot like your aunt talking about “HIPPA.” It’s been a week since he appeared at Pillowpallooza to tell Mike Lindell’s throng of kooks that it’s a constitutional issue to bar private companies from limiting access to their own platforms. He argued that impeachment can never apply to acts in the president’s self-interest regardless of the impact to the country. As a constitutional scholar, he’s veered into some uncharted territory over the past few years and seems to delight in pushing and creating more and more bizarre interpretations. Is this just what happens when professors can’t write exams any more?

Hopefully the Page Six writeup is entirely accurate in all details. Because then maybe the shirt does reflect Dershowitz’s worldview. Because “It’s The Constitution Stupid!” seems more appropriate to Dershowitz’s current philosophy than “It’s The Constitution [COMMA] Stupid!” would be.

Larry David ‘screamed’ at Alan Dershowitz at grocery store over Trump ties [Page Six]

Earlier: Alan Dershowitz Is The Saddest Man In Martha’s Vineyard
Alan Dershowitz Beams In To Pillowpallooza To Talk Sh*t About The First Amendment
I Just Had To Think About Alan Dershowitz’s Underwear And Now So Do You

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Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.