Stupid Lawyer Tricks

Distraught Mother Chooses To Not Respond Like An Adult After Seeing Her Son’s Hair

I know the police are meant to protect and serve, but the damage has already been done.

By Chris Williams on October 04, 2021 3:33 pm

This day began like most Massachusetts days. The sun dampened its brightness playing peekaboo amidst the clouds. Birds sang sweet melodies as antivaxxers applied essential oils and dog vitamins prescribed by Dr. Citation Needed. Suddenly, disaster struck. A mother calls 911, her words dire: “I have an emergency, please.” On this day, a normal day that became unlike any other, her son got a haircut so bad she had to call the police.

No, this is not The Onion. Yes, I think this is newsworthy. We have hit the point in entitlement and police dependency that some Karen thought calling the dudes in blue with guns over a haircut made sense. Talk about fashion policing.

A major talking point of the defund the police crowd was that much of the money spent on the police would be better utilized on strengthening preventative and therapeutic measures like more robust school funding and enhanced reliance on social workers (who tend to de-escalate situations without reaching for a Glock 22). It would now appear that the defund crowd should add barber schooling to that list. In all honesty, I would not be surprised if  better haircuts actually tapered crime.

Until then, I have compiled a small list of my own — I hope that you enjoy it.

THE SMALL LIST OF THINGS SHE COULD HAVE CALLED BESIDES THE COPS IN RESPONSE TO HER SON’S BAD HAIRCUT

But enough about her. If you happen to be in a rough spot and are looking for someone to call, it might be a good idea to ring up a warmline in your state. It’s like a hotline for those non-crisis, things-are-a-little-off moments in life. Maybe like a bad haircut?

Mom Calls Police After 17-Year-Old Son Gets His Hair Cut [CentralRecorder]

Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. Before that, he wrote columns for an online magazine named The Muse Collaborative under the pen name Knehmo. He endured the great state of Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected].