So far, the controversies concerning President Biden’s nomination of Ketanji Brown Jackson as the next Supreme Court Justice have been 1) the fact of her announcement; 2) some dude wanting to know her LSAT scores; and 3) another dude saying she should recuse herself before she’s on payroll. While I do not know the unspoken treacheries that will affix themselves to her legacy next, I am sure that they too will be goofy. Maybe it will be discovered that she occasionally uses her cousin’s Netflix login to watch Sister Sister reruns — a clear violation of the company’s terms of service and, if she can’t follow even those simple rules, how could she be expected to uphold our great Constitution? Whatever the next faux pas is, I know it wouldn’t be something as egregious as yelling or breaking down in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee — things like that would be career-ending.
I’m still stuck on how strange it is that we jumped from a two-week installation of some lady with like no judicial history because a body was needed to replace RBG to requiring that Stephen Breyer’s replacement be “a once-in-a-generational legal talent, the next Learned Hand.” But hey, I think I get a little bit of what’s going on here. Being a Black woman in the public eye is difficult. In a climate where you get attacked for familiarity with a J. Crew catalogue, it must be like walking on eggshells at literally each moment — and all for merely being nominated to a 6-3 court. The last time people were this up in arms about what should have been a non-event in a functional democracy, shamans were storming the Capitol steps.
As a person who loves some good pataphysics, I just need to know one thing. What do you think the next judicial disqualifier will be? An unpaid parking ticket from her undergrad stay in Massachusetts? Sworn testimony from a waitress who she only tipped 24% at the local Red Lobster? What little quibble will grab our attentions instead of judges doing insider trading or locking up children under fake laws? Your guess is as good as mine. Send your guesses to [email protected], and if I get enough responses I can make an interactive poll! Godspeed until then.
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.