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Trump Lawyer Challenge Enters Stupid 16: Who Will Be Crowned The Biggest Embarrassment?

Who will advance to the next round?

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Opening weekend of the annual ATL Bracket produced few surprises, but some truly epic showdowns loom in the coming matchups. We’re going to keep it rolling with our version of the round of 16, getting the voting started now and revealing our 8 on Friday morning.

In the meantime, let’s take another look at the updated bracket (which is now fixed and updated after catching some errors):

ATL Madness 22 16

PERSONAL REGION

(1) Rudy Giuliani v. (4) John Eastman

Giuliani stormed to victory in round 1, crushing poor Chris Christie like it was a GOP primary. Meanwhile, former Chapman dean Eastman destroyed Justin Clark on the strength of his Coups 4 Dummies work. This is a solid matchup between the Big Lie’s blundering circus barker and the man who drafted its “intellectual” underpinnings.

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(2) Jenna Ellis v. (3) Cleta Mitchell

Biglaw vs. Small Law matchup! Having dispatched Alina Habba in the first round, failed traffic lawyer Jenna Ellis squares off against former Biglaw partner Cleta Mitchell. Is it worse to rise above your relative experience to lead doomed lawsuits on behalf of the president, or to watch your prestigious career go down in flames while you call state election officials asking them to “find” more votes?

GOVERNMENT REGION

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(1) Bill Barr v. (4) Don McGahn 

A little surprised that Barr won his opening round matchup as handily as he did. Jeff Sessions orchestrated a massive kidnapping regime and I’d have thought that might count for a few more votes. But Barr, who already had some ethical clouds before he got out of his first month with Trump, now takes on FedSoc errand boy Don McGahn, who managed to keep coming up with more unqualified nominees for Trump to put on the federal bench.

(2) Jeffrey Clark v. (3) Jeffrey Rosen

We have a full-fledged Jeffrey-off between former Acting AG Rosen and the guy who tried to stage a palace coup against him. Jeffrey Clark’s effort to supplant Rosen grew out of frustration that Rosen was unwilling to subvert the core of American democracy for Trump’s convenience. Still, Rosen’s reputation is really riding on that 11th hour hesitance and hoping everyone overlooks his “good soldier” work up until then.

KRAKEN REGION

(1) Sidney Powell v. (5) Paul Davis

Powell obliterated the first round of voting winning by well over 99 percent of the vote. All it took was a string of bizarre lawsuits, some sanctions, and a massive defamation case aimed squarely at her antics. But now she’s got to deal with one of the few upsets of the first round of voting. Paul Davis stormed into our lives like we were the U.S. Capitol, losing his job after January 6 and filing lawsuits suggesting that the United States toss the Constitution in favor of putting Denethor II on the throne.

(2) Lin Wood v. (3) Joe DiGenova

It’s a showdown between two lawyers who went all in on the idea of executing government officials! Lin Wood said Pence should face a firing squad and DiGenova said the head of cybersecurity for the country should be drawn and quartered. Pillars of the legal profession!

IMPEACHMENT REGION

(1) Alan Dershowitz v. (5) Lindsey Graham

Ken Starr getting bounced in the first round underscores how this guy has more professional lives than Leon the Lawyer Cat. But Lindsey Graham moved past the Special Counsel and faces off against Alan Dershowitz, the professor who sold out his waning goodwill to be Trump’s defender on every fringe news channel that gives him a call.

(2) Jay Sekulow v. (3) Bruce Castor

Jay Sekulow may leave a lot to be desired as a legal theorist, but he’s putting up big numbers in this competition. The far right’s favorite amicus brief author will see second impeachment lawyer Bruce Castor in the next round. Trump thought Caston was one of the “stupidest” lawyers out there, but Castor managed to deliver an acquittal (or at least got to take credit for Mitch McConnell delivering one) so who’s to say?

So get to voting. Voting closes Thursday at 11:59:59 p.m. We’ll check back in with our next round on Friday.

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

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