Trump Lawyers Seek Video Of The Fun Parts Of Capitol Riot, Where Nobody Beat A Cop Or Sh*t In The Speaker’s Trash Can

Alina Habba, we are sorry.

Sorry that we called you the worst, dumbest Trump lawyer — although in fairness we kind of defended you by saying it was mostly your client’s fault. We had no idea how much more ridiculous it could get. But Trump’s 1964 military school roommate Peter Ticktin, a divorce and personal injury attorney from Florida, has entered the chat, and holy hell.

Ticktin, whose main qualifications appear to be a slavish devotion to Trump and admission to the Florida bar, has teamed up with Habba to file the mother of all LOLsuits. This multi-state Mensa meeting is suing Hillary Clinton, the DNC, James Comey, and half of DC for doing The RICO to poor Donald Trump. In Florida, obviously.

Having already pissed off US District Judge Donald Middlebrook by demanding that he recuse for the high crime of having been appointed by Bill Clinton, the pair further endeared themselves to the court by failing to redact the home addresses of James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, and Kevin Klinesmith, placing the former FBI employees’ information on the public docket.

The US Attorney moved to redact the public record, and Trump’s lawyers agreed. The second time it happened, the government asked the court for an order “precluding the filing of documents in the public record containing the addresses of the named former FBI employees and permitting the United States to substitute redacted copies of any such offending document filed in the public record without further motion or order from this Court.”

Which brings us to yesterday, when Trump’s esteemed counsel filed this unhinged motion screaming about the insult to “the president” by the very suggestion that he would deliberately visit harm upon these people.

“No one in their right mind would want to see harm befall any FBI agents, presently active, or retired, not only including the former President of the United States, but especially the former President,” they write with no apparent irony. Which is true, if you disregard the fact that Trump sent dozens of tweets calling for Comey’s arrest, illegally fired McCabe to steal his pension, had his Justice Department leak Page and Strzok’s personal messages to reporters on the eve of their congressional testimony, and spent years exhorting his supporters into paroxysms of rage at the five of them, referring to Page and Strzok in the crudest, most vulgar terms.

Forget all that. The real issue here is that someone dared to suggest that Trump’s lawyer is either doing it on purpose, or is so incompetent that the government should be given a bottle of Wite-Out and advance permission to use it.

“The President, through his undersigned attorney, though, does object to an order being filed, in that his attorney should be trusted to do whatever is necessary to protect sensitive information from being released, and one who is not a threat should not be enjoined in any way,” Ticktin huffs.

He’s already agreed to redact the last two screw ups, and anyway, his law clerk found the addresses on Google — “It literally took the assistant in The Ticktin Law Group less than 5 minutes to obtain each of the addresses which the government now wants to protect.” — and obviously the DOJ would, uh, order Sundar Pichai to take ’em down if they really cared about that kind of thing.

Plus there’s the whole Titanic angle:

To now decide that the attorneys for the Plaintiff, be ordered to not file the addresses, which they are not filing, anyway, and which could easily be removed without objection, would be similar to having the captain of the Titanic locking the door to his wheelhouse to stop the ship from sinking.

Don’t think too hard, just roll with it, because Ticktin had a whole lot more crazy left in the tank. So he drove the clown car over to the Gateway Pundit, a rightwing conspiracy theory site with a web design that will make your eyeballs bleed, to put out the all-call for happy, joyful images of the Capitol Riot. (Hat tip to Mediaite which originally flagged the story.)

“The Trump legal team wants The Gateway Pundit community to help them in their crowdsourcing of video footage from the January 6th protests in Washington DC,” the post begins, with a link to an open letter from Ticktin to the MAGA faithful.

“A number of people the likes of Eric Swalwell have filed lawsuits against our 45th President. These people are attempting to get judges and juries to say that President Trump incited a so called ‘insurrection,'” he writes. “The whole goal is to keep him from running again. We know the truth, and we need to prove it. For this, we need you.”

Ticktin is after video proof that January 6, 2021 was one big love-in, with picnics and pony rides and pretty girls in long dresses with flowers in their hair. If he can’t get that, though, he’ll take proof that the cops were cahootsing with Antifa and BLM to make Trump supporters look bad.

Here’s some of what he wants:

• Trump Protestors being peaceful.
• Marching and crowd scenes. (No selfies, please.)
• Trump Protestors helping police and fellow protestors.
• Antifa, BLM, or other agitators antagonizing the crowd.
• Police or anyone else waving/encouraging people to go into the Capitol building.
• The shooting (or apparent shooting) of Ashli Babbitt.
• Footage of police beating or antagonizing Trump supporters.
• Footage of police taking down barriers or opening doors and allowing protestors to enter the Capitol building.
• Any footage near the RNC or DNC of scenes near or police response to the pipe bombs and the illusive [sic] “pipe bomber”.
• Speeches of anyone promoting violence or peace.

“Donald had my back in military school. He had everybody’s back there, including all the underdogs. So that really makes it easier for me to get his back now as his attorney,” Ticktin told GP. “Donald was the jock defending the nerds.”

Which sounds just like Donald Trump, right?

“Donald Trump is the most innocent person I have ever defended,” he gushed. “I am honored to be in a position where I can use my skills to help Donald. Helping him is helping America.”

Ticktin and Habba, could be the start of a beautiful partnership. Or some crazy, crazy shit. Probably the second one, TBH.

CALLING ALL PATRIOTS – URGENT DEVELOPMENT: Donald Trump’s Lawyer Asking For YOUR HELP in Locating Videos of January 6th! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!! [Gateway Pundit]
Trump v. Clinton [Docket via Court Listener]

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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.