Hillary Clinton is all the way to done with Donald Trump.
Yesterday the former Secretary of State and twenty of her co-defendants in Trump’s insane RICO LOLsuit filed a joint motion to dismiss the amended complaint, which is exactly the same as the original complaint, except “swollen with eighty new pages of irrelevant allegations that mirror grievances he has repeatedly voiced over the years in speeches, tweets, interviews, and debates, but which do nothing to lend merit to his suit.”
Describing this lawsuit as “total bullshit” would be an insult to bulls and shit, not to mention the very concept of totality. In short, Trump alleges that Clinton conspired with the DNC, Perkins Coie, James Comey, Rod Rosenstein, and half of DC to RICO murder him and make it look like he was in cahoots with Russia, thus sparking a federal investigation of his campaign. The defendants filed individual motions to dismiss, noting that Trump’s claims are all time-barred, the alleged theft of DNS data can’t be a predicate for RICO because it’s basically public and thus not remotely a “trade secret,” there’s no such thing as a conspiracy with your own lawyer, and also WTF, that’s not how any of this goes!
Trump amended his complaint — sort of — to claim that he had only just learned about the “unthinkable plot – one that shocks the conscience and is an affront to this nation’s democracy” from Special Counsel John Durham’s failed prosecution of former Perkins Coie lawyer Michael Sussmann. Never mind the fact that Trump tweeted about it nonstop during all of 2016 and 2017.
Russia, if you’re listening …
In the interests of economy, most of the defendants have joined together this go round for a combined motion describing the amended complaint as dime store lipstick slapped on a long-dead pig which is rapidly decomposing in the Florida sun.
“The court should dismiss these baseless claims with prejudice,” they write. “Each of the claims is hopelessly stale and fails on the merits in multiple independent respects. Any further amendment would be futile and serve only to give Plaintiff a platform for rehashing tired rivalries from the 2016 election. Whatever the utility of Plaintiff’s amended complaint as a fundraising tool, a press release, or a list of political grievances, it has no merit as a lawsuit.”
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Meanwhile, the Justice Department has entered the chat, moving to substitute itself for defendants who are current or former FBI employees under the Federal Tort Claims Act (FTCA) and the Westfall Act. If and when the court agrees, the defendants will then exit the case, since Trump failed to first pursue administrative remedies before driving this clown car down to the federal court house.
“The United States hereby moves, pursuant to 28 U.S.C. § 2679(d)(1), to substitute itself as defendant for James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, and Kevin Clinesmith,” they write. “Further, as substituted defendant, the United States hereby moves, pursuant to Rule 12(b)(1) of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure and Local Rule 7.1, to dismiss the United States for lack of subject matter jurisdiction.”
Hey, remember that funny time when Attorney General Bill Barr certified that Trump was just doing his job by calling E. Jean Carroll too ugly to rape and called her a scammer and substituted the government as defendant under FTCA and the Westfall Act?
Karma’s a bitch, man.
Trump v. Clinton [Docket via Court Listener]
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.