Yesterday, a bride-to-be reached out to the r/LawSchool community seeking some advice on her upcoming nuptials. As it happens, the blushing bride doesn’t blush much when it comes to her academic record and wanted the legal community to help her with her wedding vows. It seems the law school graduate wants to include her class rank from a T14 program in the couple’s vows. You know, a little less “with this ring, we link our lives together” and more “with this ring, hey, let’s discuss my LinkedIn profile.”
Apparently that clause didn’t survive the groom’s latest redline.
Undeterred, Gunnerzilla here took to the Internet for support. She would not get it.
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The original post is gone now, but it played out as a tale in four acts. Act I:
Should I mention my class rank in my wedding vows?
I was planning my wedding with my fiance when we started discussing wedding vows. He really doesn’t want me to mention it, but I graduated from a T14.
What we’ve learned here is that her fiancé possesses the good taste to refuse her “class rank dowry offer” and that the bride has sufficiently little respect for his opinion that she’s outsourcing the matter to r/LawSchool.
Is the first reading from the letter of Latham extending my job offer?
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Act II:
Edit #1: I’m a little concerned at the amount of people that think this is a “joke” or a “shitpost.” I was thinking of mentioning it in a casual manner, something along the lines of “Baby, without you, I wouldn’t have been able to have graduate _x_/ _xxx_ from law school.” Something humble that makes him seem like the good guy. What’s wrong with that?
I’m a little concerned at the amount of people that thought it wasn’t a joke.
To be clear, the Venn diagram of “mentioning it in a casual manner” and “including it in your wedding vows” are two distinct circles separated by several parsecs. A wedding is the most formal occasion most people will ever participate in unless the line of succession to the British crown falls to them or they attend a Cravath funeral (and, yes, we know that’s not real). Nothing about it is a “casual manner.” Even shotgun wedding etiquette calls for the fancy shells.
Speaking of Venn Diagrams, “something humble” and “mentioning my class rank from a T14” don’t have much overlap either.
But to answer her question “what’s wrong with that?” it’s that it only tangentially “makes him seem like the good guy.” It centers the vows back on her, just fishing for recognition from the audience. The groom is a “good guy” only to the extent he’s dimly reflected in her accomplishment. Which is how patriarchal marriages worked for years, but not something worth perpetuating in reverse.
Put another way, if you’re listing the handful of traits that make him the most important person in your life, is “he was around while I aced Torts” really the making the list? Hopefully, there’s something more there.
Act III. Or maybe more of an intermezzo.
Edit #2: I think this reached an audience outside the legal community.
No, buddy, the legal community also thinks this is nuts. But it is telling that she’s so convinced that lawyers would back her ramming her C.V. into her wedding vows that she imagines the mocking commenters must be hordes of non-legal interlopers.
Finale:
EDIT #3: To whomever reported me, acting concerned about my mental health all because I want to be the center of attention on my wedding day, YOU CAN GO TO HELL!
And so we, perhaps unintentionally, get the truth. Stripped of all the “make him look like the good guy” pretense, our bride wants to insert her class rank into the event “because I want to be the center of attention on my wedding day.”
But the thing is… she will be. It’s a ceremony specifically crafted to make her the center of attention. From start to finish, it’s all about her and if a bride fears that she’s not going to get enough attention without talking about clerkship opportunities, then she might want to revisit the rest of the run of show.
Here’s the original post in full:
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.