Flipping The Parties To Think About Issues
A few thought experiments to help us think about the upcoming election.
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
A good way to judge how politics influence your thinking is to hypothetically reverse the identities of the political parties involved in an incident. Then think about how you’d react to the controversy.
Suppose President Obama, for example, had given a speech, which was followed by a riot at the Capitol Building, and Obama had stood by silently for three hours during the mayhem. How would Republicans have reacted?
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The rioters were just normal visitors to the Capitol?
I’ve created a few of those thought experiments to help us think about the upcoming election.
Suppose, for example, that a jury ordered Joe Biden to pay $83.3 million to a woman he had sexually assaulted. How would Republicans react to that verdict?
A) The assault involved only digital, not penile, penetration, so it’s not worth talking about.
B) It’s only a jury verdict; a judge should have heard the case!
C) The Democrats are nominating a rapist!
D) Why are we even talking about this before an appeal is final? I don’t believe the evidence, and the whole thing might never have occurred.
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Let’s do a few more of them.
Suppose that a judge ordered Joe Biden to pay $355 million (plus interest) because his business repeatedly committed fraud. How would Republicans react?
A) The banks didn’t complain about the fraud, and the loans were repaid, so the case is silly.
B) It’s only a judge’s verdict; a jury should have heard the case!
C) The Democrats are nominating a fraudster!
D) Why are we even talking about this before an appeal is final? It probably never happened.
Suppose a court found that a business Joe Biden ran committed 19 felonies, including tax fraud and other crimes?
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A) The crimes are all technical issues that never should have been charged.
B) It’s only (another) jury verdict; why should we believe it?
C) Biden’s a criminal! How could you possibly vote for him?
D) Biden will probably win this appeal, too. Most litigants win 100% of the appeals they take from adverse verdicts.
Suppose that a jury in a defamation trial (implicitly) and a judge in a fraud trial (explicitly) found that Biden lied under oath?
A) Why do we keep talking about trials?
B) See? You can’t believe a word Biden says! Lying S.O.B.!
C) These were trials in a state that has misguided citizens.
D) Appeals, something.
Suppose a 51-year-old female former governor and Ambassador to the United Nations challenged Biden in the primaries. What would Republicans say?
A) The Democratic National Committee should declare that Biden’s the presumptive nominee and end the primaries.
B) The governor’s future in the party is over.
C) It’s terribly disloyal for the governor, who served in Biden’s administration, to run against him.
D) Those moronic Democrats! They have a chance to nominate a younger, more rational candidate, and they don’t!
Suppose that Joe Biden said he’d encourage Russia to invade European countries that don’t spend two percent of their gross domestic products on defense.
A) Biden’s senile! He supports Russia! He’s a threat to America!
B) We should take Biden seriously, but not literally.
C) Biden’s right! That’s a great policy!
D) I don’t listen to every stray comment the President makes.
Suppose a special counsel issued a reporting saying that Biden‘s handling of classified government documents, if proven, would constitute a crime.
A) See? He’s a criminal!
B) You can’t believe special counsels. They’re just like juries, and judges, and experts. Not trustworthy!
C) A different part of the special counsel’s report says Trump comes across as a well-meaning old man with a weak memory. What matters is that Trump’s senile!
D) Special counsel are manipulated by the president. Witch hunt!
Suppose Biden were facing criminal charges for 91 felonies.
A) Only libtards would ignore 91 felony charges. Biden’s a crook! And he wasn’t even charged with the pedophilia and murder!
B) It’s all a political hatchet job.
C) He hasn’t been convicted yet, and Biden is presumed innocent.
D) Biden might not get convicted if he can delay all the trials until after he’s elected.
Suppose Biden appointed his unqualified children to high government office.
A) Impeach him, the bastard!
B) Who cares what a president’s children do? The question is the quality of the president.
C) Although there’s no reason to think so, perhaps the children are actually qualified.
D) Four more years!
Mark Herrmann spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and later oversaw litigation, compliance and employment matters at a large international company. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Drug and Device Product Liability Litigation Strategy (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at [email protected].
