Todd Blanche Asks Trump Jurors To Believe Ten Impossible Things Before Lunch Break
Coffee is for closers, TODD.
(Photo by Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images)
On Monday, New York Court’s Chief Administrative Judge Joseph A. Zayas announced that the court will be publishing daily transcripts of Trump’s criminal trial along with the trial exhibits “to ensure broad and continuous public access to this extraordinarily high-profile case.”
Arguably, “continuous public access” would involve livestreaming the entire trial, but we take what we can get. Especially when it lets us see the absolutely dogshit opening statement delivered by Trump’s lawyer Todd Blanche.
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The prosecutors went first, of course, and Assistant DA Matthew Colangelo delivered a stemwinder that framed the false business records as part of a larger scheme to influence the presidential election.
“The defendant, Donald Trump, orchestrated a criminal scheme to corrupt the 2016 presidential election,” he began. “Then he covered up that criminal conspiracy by lying in his New York business records over and over and over again.”
Colangelo went on to describe in minute detail the plan cooked up by Trump, his fixer Michael Cohen, and his longtime buddy David Pecker, the owner of the National Enquirer. The three agreed that Pecker would promote stories harmful to Trump’s opponents, while buying up stories which might hurt Trump’s campaign and making sure they never saw the light of day. Trump agreed that he would reimburse Pecker after the election. But after two such deals, Pecker balked at paying Stormy Daniels, so Cohen and Trump tried to stall her until after the election, at which point it wouldn’t matter what she said.
But then the Access Hollywood tape dropped, and Colangelo described panic inside the Trump campaign, which prompted Cohen to take $130,000 out of his home equity line to finally come to terms with Daniels. And then Trump reimbursed him for the $130,000 plus the taxes he’d have to pay if he’d actually earned the $130,000 as ordinary income.
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What Todd Blanche’s opening statement proposes is … maybe he didn’t?
“President Trump is innocent. President Trump didn’t commit any crimes,” Blanche began, insisting that his client deserved to be addressed by his honorific, “out of respect for the office that he held.”
In Blanche’s telling, Trump “put up a wall between himself and his company” when he assumed office, and he had no idea what was going on inside the Trump Organization between 2017 and 2021.
The invoice was processed. Somebody at Trump Tower generated a check. The check was ultimately signed, and there was a record in a ledger on President Trump’s personal records that reflected the invoice.
Sure, Trump signed those checks to Michael Cohen. But he was so busy doing official president stuff that he just assumed they were on the up and up!
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For nine of the checks, the check made its way down to the White House, and President Trump signed it. You’ll hear that he’s the only signatory on his personal checking account, which is why he signed the check.
So, what on Earth is a crime? What is a crime about what I just described?
The sham invoices, false ledger entries, and checks for non-existent legal work were just “34 pieces of paper,” Blanche scoffed, and how can paper be a crime?
He also seems to be banking on the financial illiteracy of the jury panel culled from residents of the world’s financial capital, several of whom are lawyers or financial professionals.
You’ll hear that Ms. Clifford/Ms. Daniels, did, in fact, sign an NDA in October of 2016 in exchange for $130,000. But, think for a moment of what the People just told you. President Trump did not pay Mr. Cohen back $130,000. President Trump paid Michael Cohen $420,000.
And in the same breath, the People told you that President Trump is known as a frugal businessman, that he pinches pennies.
Ask yourself: Would a frugal businessman, would a man who pinches pennies repay $130,000 debt to the tune of $420,000?
IF THE GLOVE DOES NOT FIT, YOU MUST ACQUIT!
Blanche insisted that his client did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Clifford … errr, Daniels, who was just trying to extort Trump as part of a “sinister” attempt to “embarrass” him and his family.
Blanche acknowledged that Trump did authorize Cohen to enter into the hush money agreement with Daniels, but not that he authorized any reimbursement of the money Cohen put forward. This would seem to suggest that Trump intended to stiff Cohen, but let us not linger on unpleasant things!
In Todd Blanche’s telling, Michael Cohen sent the sham bills to the Trump Organization, which simply paid them without thinking because Cohen was a trusted employee. Also, Michael Cohen is a lying scoundrel who should never be believed and who has a blood vendetta against the defendant. And none of this is a “conspiracy” because Trump wasn’t charged with violating campaign finance laws to engineer an illegal payment meant to influence the outcome of the election.
Okay, yes, Michael Cohen pled guilty to making an excessive, undeclared contribution, and Pecker accepted immunity for same. But they never charged Trump, and anyway, schemes are good, actually?
The reality is, there’s nothing illegal about a scheme. There’s nothing illegal about what you will hear happened among AMI and National Enquirer and Mr. Pecker and President Trump.
It happens — I expect you will hear shortly, this sort of thing happens regularly, that newspapers make decisions about what to publish, when to publish, and how to publish. It happens with politicians, with wealthy people, with famous people.
It’s not a scheme. Unless a scheme means something that doesn’t matter, that’s not illegal, that’s not against the law.
This would appear to be a bet that New York jurors are either dumb as rocks or prone to nullification. Let’s see if it pays off!
Trump Trial Transcript, April 22
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she produces the Law and Chaos substack and podcast.
